Recovering from First Date Sex: The 4-Way

By: The 4-Way Panel (View Profile)

But be prepared for him not to come back for another reason. I’ve noticed there seems to be a symptom of online dating: the cybergrass is always greener. A whole plethora of potential dates are popping up on searches, so it’s easy to believe that even when you have a good thing, there’s someone else even better out there. Too many choices is sometimes a bad thing.

In the meantime, ask yourself: what do you want out of the relationship? More sex? More than sex? A boyfriend? A husband? Do you know? Take some time to think about what you want before you worry so much about what he wants. It might behoove you to take it slow here … in more ways than one.

Read Part Two of September’s 4-Way column.

Read the August 4-Way column.

The 4-Way is published monthly. If you have a question for our 4-Way panel, please send it to them in care of the editor at rbrown@realgirlsmedia.com. To make sure you never miss a 4-Way column again, just click on the author’s name at the top of the story, then select “Be notified when writer publishes” at the top of the page. We’ll send you an email as soon as a new column is published.

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Comments
posted: 10.22.2008
Colton Delaney
I think the guy woke up the next day and was rather pleased with himself. If he dates alot he probably will keep you in the file under "a good time" he may very well have had a great time with you, but he is wondering deep down if you have sex with every guy on the first date? If this feeling is new for you after a first date then trust it and convey to him somehow ,if he calls back ,that he was special and you were kind of new to first date sex. I have had first date sex and she more often than not turned out to be a bad choice in the end. Most guys have had first date sex, but the girl who makes you wait is the one you seek. most guys have easy girls we hook up with when we need sex. when we are dating we are looking for someone to trust ,a friend, a girlfriend, We have all had women that we liked but when we became predictable and were treating her well or maybe god forbid we brought her flowers after our first date sex its probably all over for him. what makes you tick?
posted: 09.28.2008
Sonny
As a guy, I'd say you're off to a great start, but who knows after that? I'd say you have better than 50/50chance, but you never know for sure do you? Keep us posted!
posted: 07.07.2008
ToniKet
I slept with a guy on the first date. I had never done it before, it was very out of character for me. We're married now. So in my case it worked! And really, ours wasn't a date - it was the night we met, through a friend. We had already set up our first date and I knew there was something special there before we slept together. However - I definitely had my fears that he'd never call!
posted: 07.02.2008
Sandy
Would you have had sex with him if you didn't want a relationship with him? The ideas of 'sex' and 'relationship' seem to be intertwined, and that's where it may be causing unnecessary stress. Sex happens when it feels right, relationships happen when they feel right - it's not as if the two can't coincide, it's that they don't have to. :) So... sounds like you had a good night. If you guys still have chemistry now that it's over, maybe you'll have more good nights like it! Perhaps, without expecting too much or feeling too obliged, he's the one you should be having this conversation with? :)
posted: 02.25.2008
Sunshowers
Lora Freeman, that's exactly what I was thinking as I read this article. I've slept with two guys on the first date - the first guy and I had a relationship that lasted over three years and the second guy is the one I'm still with over a year later. As long as you're safe, the "rule" that you should never sleep with a guy on the first date is out-dated and illogical. I've always figured that if the guy is decent and he's really into you, he won't care what you did or didn't do on the first date. Hey, he was there in the sack with you too, wasn't he? It takes two to tango - any guy who would judge you based on some ridiculous double standard isn't worth a second date anyway, you didn't "lose" him, he lost you. That said, I suppose there's never any harm in waiting, but if you're a consenting adult and you know what you're getting into, go for it.
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