All that being said, I do think it is possible to have a bunch of check marks and feel the heat when she walks into a room, but for some that takes time; you grow to feel that way. For others, it seems to ignite instantaneously. You have a lot of good things going here, lady, so hold on loosely and don’t let go. See what develops.
The straight man’s perspective: Chris Kennedy
You say you have great sex but there’s no spark? Doesn’t make sense to me. Hmm. Okay, well, anyway, you’re looking for fire. As the saying goes, you play with fire and you can get burned. You probably know this because any fiery relationships you’ve had in the past flamed out. So now what do you want? You want to keep going down that fiery road or do you want to try something new?
It seems like you have that new opportunity now. Are you not satisfied with someone who treats you well and with whom you have great sex? If you’re looking for something more, then yes, get out and let this great girl keep her respect. If you’re considering breaking up with her and are complaining about the lack of passion now, I don’t see you getting any happier with the relationship until you decide that maybe some good things will come from a caring, kind partner. Perhaps you don’t really want someone who treats you well—you’d rather have someone you have that fire with. Someone who keeps you uncomfortable and on edge. ‘Tis a little masochistic. Dare I say you’re a bit of a relationship arsonist. Good luck with your decision. Just make sure to save your partner before you burn down this relationship.
The straight woman’s perspective: Rebecca Brown
Congratulations, Confused. It sounds like you’ve found yourself a fantastic new girl friend. And by girl friend, I mean a woman you can borrow earrings from and break down your weekend shenanigans with on Sunday mornings over coffee. Not girlfriend, a woman you want to see naked and consider dating long-term.
