The Thirty Year-Old Virgin: The 4-Way

By: The 4-Way Panel (View Profile)

The straight man’s perspective: Chris Kennedy

What kind of church does this girl attend? Whichever it is, apparently, it’s okay to enter through the back door, but not the front.

She’s holding on to a puzzling and narrow definition of what it means to be religious. I mean, what religion says “Thou shalt not enter the pink, but feel free to go for the stink!” I’m sorry, but this girl’s got some pretty significant inconsistencies. She’s basically making up the rules here, or at least giving some religious tenets quite flexible interpretation.

Since she’s okay with your bedroom hijinks, you can be too. She’s not asking you to stop, so why stop if you like it? I would caution you to get her to explain her thought process further on this. I think she’s misunderstanding her religious faith—and you think she is too. You can ask her to reevaluate your sex life if it’s really bothering you. If she’s living her life under some deluded idea of what it means to be religious, it’s a bit of a red flag for her overall thought process. What Would Jesus Do? I think he’d sit down and have a talk with this girl. So should you. Good luck and God’s speed.

The straight woman’s perspective: Rebecca Brown

It’s interesting that she’s the religious one, yet from your depiction of the situation, you seem to be carrying all the guilt. If she’s a willing participant, why do you feel guilty? Are you worried that someday she’ll wake up and recognize the error of her sinning ways and resent you? Or maybe you’re more observant of your faith than you’re letting on and you feel guilty about your less-than-Godly behavior? Maybe you’re also worried about being the Lucifer responsible for leading her down a path that her church might frown upon or that she’ll eventually regret. If she’s as devout as you say, I don’t think I’d want that burden either.

But get over all that, because she’s a big girl and she’s made her decision. I recommend talking to her—before you bend her over the dining room table again. Clearly, she’s already rationalized in her mind what she’s doing. So ask her how she reconciled all of it to get some insight on how you can. The key here is to get an understanding of her position on right and wrong as it relates to her religious beliefs so you can stop feeling like you’re corrupting her every time you guys rub one out. Also, don’t be afraid to share your version of right and wrong based on your religious beliefs, or just your beliefs in general. If you have strong views that differ from hers, it could be that you need to re-think your activities so they’re more in line with both of your beliefs—not just hers.

5 readers liked this story.
bookmarks
Comments
posted: 02.01.2008
Adam Tice
JF WHAT ARE YOUR BELIEFS? IF YOU DONT BELIEVE IN THE SAME THING THEN THERE WILL BE FRICTION THE WHOLE TIME TOGETER BECAUSE OF THE DIFFERENT BELIEFS AND YOU WILL WANT IT YOUR WAY AND SHE WILL WANT IT HER WAY AND SOMEONE WILL GIVE IN TO THE OTHER.YOU BOTH MAKE EACH OTHER COMPPROMISED BECAUSE OF DIFFERENT VIEWS. SO MOST LIKELY IT IS NOT HEALTHY. IF YOUR GIRLFRIEND BELIEVES IN GOD AND SAYS SHE DOESNT WANT TO HAVE SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE THAT IS GOOD. BUT SHE IS HAVING SEX AND SEX IS SEX EITHER WAY YOU DO IT. AND THERE ARE MANY WAYS. GOD HAS GUIDELINES AND WANTS A RELATIONSHIP WITH US NOT RELIGION YOU ARE EITHER GONNA PLEASE GOD OR YOURSELF. BELIEVING IN GOD IS NOT A RELIGION,RELIGION IS A MAN MADE THING,TAKING PIECES OUT OF BIBLE AND MAKING IT CONVEINENT TO THERE OWN WAY SO THEY CAN PLEASE GOD IN THE EASIEST FORM. NOBODY IS PERFECT AND IN THE BIBLE THE WORD PERFECT MEANS MATURE. YOU CANT FEEL SATISFIED BECAUSE IN THE BACK OF YOUR MIND YOU ARE USING HER TO GET WHAT U WANT AND FEEL GUILTY.
It feels good to write.

Your stories, musings, and advice are welcome here. We know you've got something to share, so jump in—maybe get a little famous. And don't worry—you can save a draft!

most liked
Loader_buff
Other topics you might appreciate
Relationships Body & Soul Style