Dear 4-Way,
My boyfriend recently told me he wants to try rimming with me. He said he’s done it with a couple of women in the past and that they really got off on it. I was completely disgusted and mentioned it to one of my girlfriends, and to my shock, she’d done it before and said it was amazing! I know you’ll say what everyone else says: if I’m not comfortable, I shouldn’t do it, and I know that. I guess I’m just looking to get either a recommendation, a warning, or both. I’m open to trying it, I’m just a little freaked out about it. And how come everyone else is in on the secret and I’m not? Do you guys think it’s great … or do you think I’m crazy for considering it?—MR, Chicago, Illinois
The straight man’s perspective: Chris Kennedy
I have to be honest, I only had an idea of what rimming meant. So get over the notion that you’re the only naïve person when it comes to this. I did a little research ... online. Just to clarify—for those readers who are also in the dark on this—it’s “licking butthole.” Call it by its technical term, “analingus,” if you’d like.
As with most sex acts, your performance of them is a matter of comfortability and ... taste. And as with most sex acts, safety and cleanliness are important issues. The information I read about analingus said it is a very easy way to contract an STD. You and your partner should obviously use protection. A shower beforehand would be a good suggestion, too. There’s your warning and recommendation.
I would say if your boyfriend really wants to give you pleasure in a whole new way that’s not the worst thing in the world. You could let him do it and see what you think of it. Does doing this or not doing this affect your relationship? How much is your boyfriend pressuring you to do this? I mean, if you say no, will he keep asking you? Or do you think he’ll pout and hold it against you for being a prude if you say no? These are your own relationship issues that you’ll have to ponder before you let him go down yonder.
