The Weighting Game: The 4-Way

Also, that extra weight could potentially put you at risk for a shitload of health problems. Your boyfriend obviously knows that or he wouldn’t have mentioned it. He sounds like he’s interested in way more than what’s on your surface and potentially wants to consider a healthy relationship for years to come.

Right now your pride is suffering and your feelings are hurt—whose wouldn’t be? But I’d focus more on rebuilding your confidence than whether your boyfriend thinks you’re fat. Because the only opinion that truly counts is yours.

The gay man’s perspective: Darren Maddox

Here’s a reality check for you: if you’ve gained eighteen pounds (about two pounds each month) since you started your new job, you’re going to be twenty to twenty five pounds heavier in a year than you are right now! Just because you have an expense account does not mean it’s time to strap on the feedbags and wash it down with four glasses of wine all under the guise of “entertaining clients” and think your body will go unaffected. It’s all about choices. Alter your eating habits now or you’ll have bigger troubles down the road.

And when you say you haven’t had the time to work out as much as you like because of a more demanding job, who does? I certainly don’t get up at dawn’s crack and run three miles because my nice warm bed suddenly turns on me and kicks my ass out onto the unforgiving hardwood. I do it because that is the only time I can manage to get in what needs to be done for the day in the name of fitness. I’m just saying that when you accept a job, you also accept the fact that certain things will have to change to meet the demands of a good balance. Only you can tip the scales back in your favor.

As for the boyfriend, I don’t condemn him for what he’s telling you. I think he is concerned about your whole body and the fact that you don’t seem to have your balance right now. Physical attractiveness is a part of that. You got your feelings hurt by some harsh realities. Don’t let that ruin your relationship. Let those things make you stronger.