The straight man’s perspective: Chris Kennedy
First off, if this guy can’t keep up with you, can I have your number? I’m kidding. (Mostly.)
This is usually a “guy” problem, so I guess we’re sort of used to the imbalance. We’re usually dismissed as horny mutts and sent to the sexual doghouse until the female whistles us in whenever she’s ready.
You, as a woman, are not used to this backyard view. Or are you? Has this been a problem for you in past relationships? I’m guessing not, because you didn’t mention it.
Having different sexual appetites and other differences in preferences can be a problem in relationships. People in these inequitable situations may be tempted to go elsewhere to fulfill their needs, or they may find alone time with their computers, or they may just suck it up and live with the fact they don’t get as much sex as they’d like. You have similar options.
As for any future marriage, I don’t think you should be too concerned about that. The status quo on that is that your sexual desire will decrease as well … maybe making you more compatible?
As for things to do to increase his desire, what turns him on? Have you played into his fantasy? A certain outfit? Dancing for him? Men are visual. There’s a bunch of things you can try and you might as well do so. You may hit on something that trips his trigger. Or you may try all this only to be rejected, which would be a real bummer and blow to your ego.
If nothing else, there needs to be some compromise, a meeting somewhere in the middle. Maybe four times a week would work. Compromise is essential in strong relationships, and this is an area in which it needs to happen.
If one of you is not able to adjust, well, that’s a bad sign for the continuation of the relationship.
The bright side is you’ll be let out of the doghouse and be free to roam in more fertile pastures.
