The straight man’s perspective: Chris Kennedy
As you know, with online dating you get the whole kit and caboodle—freaks, jerks, nice guys, etc.
Despite what these sites may be selling you, online dating doesn’t have any more or any less quality people than you can meet anywhere else in this world, so take it for what it is—another avenue to meet people. Perhaps you’ve started to learn how to be more discerning so that you can at least bring the freak show to a minimum.
As for your “nice guys” who go back online. Well, you’re back online too, right? Granted you say it’s just because you are checking up on them. Okay, sure. But, you are back online. Maybe they’re also checking on you? Or maybe they’re on there to get more dates or just to read your profile again to gain more insight into you? Who knows? You shouldn’t really care.
You should view online dating under the same standards as real world dating. If you had a few good dates with someone you met offline, would you have any way of knowing if that person was looking for or even dating other people? Probably not. A few dates doesn’t mean you have any sort of commitment, and neither you nor your dating partner has any right to ask the other not to date other people until one of you expresses the desire for exclusivity. A few dates seems a bit premature to do that.
Another flaw in online dating is that it provides so many dating choices that people using dating services may never feel like settling down. Why wouldn’t you think there might be greener grass out there when you see pages and pages of available folks every time you click “search?”
You’ll just have to deal with this online dating thing until you do meet a guy who wants to run off—and log off—with you.
The straight woman’s perspective: Rebecca Brown
Do you hear me singing, SB? Because I’m the choir, and you’re preachin’ honey. I can’t tell you how many times this has been the topic of conversation within my gaggles of women friends. And I’ll tell you the same thing we all tell each other: you’re too in your head right now. Stop worrying about what he’s doing or feeling and focus on what you’re feeling.
