Since you now want to have an exclusive relationship with this guy, you must tell him that. Denying what you want just to keep somebody around is not good or healthy and just causes you to waste valuable time.
If this open relationship was his idea, I doubt that he’ll go for it, but you never know—maybe he’s willing to give exclusivity a try. There’s only one way to find out and be true to yourself. Tell him what you want.
The upside to this open relationship is that the door is open for you to leave and find someone who wants to be with you … and only you.
The gay man’s perspective: Darren Maddox
Your situation fascinates me. It always has. I’ve had friends confess to having an open relationship, but I can’t for the life of me figure out why they feel the need to be in a relationship at all if they’re not getting what they want from their main squeeze.
But I think what you need to really consider here is not the current situation as much as the whole relationship. Are you getting what you want out of this relationship still? Is he? Are you just going through the motions out of habit? Are you killing time with each other until someone else comes along that fits your needs more? Whatever the answer, don’t be afraid to talk about it! If you fail with your communication, this issue will probably never escalate. Not talking about it won’t make it go away.
Remember, you have to be willing to give up other people if you ask him to do the same. I don’t know if that will be easy for either of you since you’ll have to break habits.
The bottom line is you get one life to be happy. Just because something has worked for you in the past doesn’t mean it will work for you for life. That’s why people move on.
The gay woman’s perspective: Jody Fischer
Be careful what you wish for; you may just get it. Here’s the thing about relationships: the wishes, desires, interests, fantasies, and the practical day-to-day stuff that makes up life can change. When you start a relationship, it’s because you’ve found common ground. There’s something that the two of you can really vibe on together. And like all couples, there comes a time when the initial interest that drew you together switches for one of you. So what happens next? It depends.
