Gemini
Can’t decide whether to spend your summer break landscaping the garden or finally booking that way overdue romantic getaway that you’ve been promising your special someone? Of course you can’t, because wishy-washy is your inherent nature. So, embrace your versatility and do what you do best: put it off. Make all your decisions at the very last minute and go with your gut. If there’s anything others can count on, it’s your charm and your duplicity. Gemini, being a person of two minds, the best part is that you can change it, and change it again. No one can fault you!
Cancer
Remember that heartbreaker who reduced you to pulp, had you crying to your friends five times a day, and swore you off romance, puppies, and chocolate forever? Get over it! It’s high time to embrace your inner crustacean and toughen up. I know, I know, you give so much of yourself and you just can’t go there again. I’m here to tell you yes you can, and you will. Your goal: rethink romance as if it were a seafood diet—order it every day of the week except Sundays and Mondays. If you get started now, you might be able to land yourself a nice catch by your birthday.
Leo
I know it’s all about you and summer is your grand spotlight in the sun, but move your lion’s ass over for another month or two until it really can be all about you and that massive Dante’s Inferno you’ll be blowing out on your b-day cake. Gorgeous, prideful Leo, you must make amends to the stars for your overactive ego by apologizing to every Gemini and Cancer you see. Open doors for them, offer the place ahead of you in line, pay compliments on their hair and shoes. Then call your mother and don’t interrupt her or talk about yourself. Just for June. Just this once.
Virgo
Stop worrying and learn to love the bomb. That’s right: you in your bathing suit. Those extra pounds are never going away—you know you’ll never be willing to give up guacamole, ice cream, or tequila sunrises. So get yourself one of those cute little cover-ups or suit skirts, hide those thighs that only you obsess about, and serve yourself an umbrella drink. Loosen up, you little Virgin. You’re so disgustingly perfect every other month of the year, so get your feet dirty in the sand and allow others to feel good for looking a little bit better than you for once.
