Aquarius
‘Quari ‘Quari, quite contrary, how doth your June garden grow? Truth be told, it’s going to pot. Part of your problem, my dear, is that you have a thousand great ideas—and you’ve started about half of them. You bore easily, and once your interest wanes, so does the garden, the home projects, and the half-baked vacation plans. The good news is that you are one inventive and crafty devil. Dead plants? No problem! You can finally get that compost going out back (idea #253). Divvy up your spotty get-away ideas (# 15–24, #32, #41, #112) for each weekend of the summer and consider it a day’s work. You’re a genius at taking the path of least resistance while fooling everyone else into thinking you’ve worked your tail off.
Pisces
My mother always said you can’t trust a Pisces. What I think she really meant is that you can’t trust an older sister who’s got a better social life than you. You’re always first to plan the all-star picnics, spoil everyone with too many Betty Crocker bakeoff award-winning desserts, and somehow manage to look effortlessly fabulous. The real problem, my little Fishy, is jealousy. From everyone else. You’re just too darn nice, selfless, and generous. And you look good in sparkly things. Your weakness: you care too much about other people’s opinions. You know how you often ask yourself, “How did I get to be the one in charge?” Well, don’t take the bait this month! Of course it won’t be as good if someone else plans the fun, but hey, even fish need to float sometimes.
Aries
Put your seatbelt on and make sure you’re up to date on your insurance—you’re itching to do something wild, adventurous, and risky. Balloon rides are too tame, Vegas has its limits, and swimming with dolphins just isn’t the same thrill as swimming with sharks. I don’t want to get your ire up by suggesting that you’re a complete fool, but there’s a reason why you’re having trouble getting your friends to join you in your daredevil antics, Aries. You are high risk, my horned friend. Keep your fiery drive confined to the bedroom this month, and stave off your life-threatening impulses for the Midway rides at the State Fair.
