Sagittarius
For you, this month’s focus is on forgiveness. It’s time to let go of past issues with friends, relatives, even that jerk who always lets his dog do her business on your lawn. Anger consumes far more energy than acceptance, and it only encourages more negativity in your life. I’m not suggesting you become a Passive Patty, but it wouldn’t kill you to let go of your inner Resentful Regina. If you can manage this, I foresee beneficial effects on the other aspects of your life, such as a promotion at work, stronger bonds with your friends, and a significant decrease in bathroom visits from that pee-happy Pomeranian.
Capricorn
Have you ever heard that expression about “all work and no play”? Well, I’m not going to lie; it’s making you a dull person. I admire your ambitious nature and there’s no doubt that it will bring you much success in life. However, I predict a massive burnout in your future if you don’t let that to-do list go once in a while. Instead of filing your recipes, why not watch a movie? Rather than reorganizing your underwear drawer for the hundredth time, go outside. Carpe diem! I’d hate for you to miss out on great opportunities (and there are plenty to be had in your future) because you’re weighed down by responsibility. Start small—stay out past 9 p.m. on a weekday. That’s wild!
Aquarius
Admit it—you’ve been selfish lately. Coveting that ridiculously expensive purse; borrowing my shoes without asking; eating the last chocolate chip cookie when I told you I was saving it for later! Okay, maybe that’s just my roommate, but since she’s a Aquarius, she probably represents all of you. Why not try focusing on your humanitarian side instead? Volunteer at a soup kitchen, offer to do the dishes once in a while, and just help … I don’t know; people who need help. Stop being so self-centered and, most of all, stop scuffing up my Louboutins, Angela.
Pisces
Yikes, my crystal ball just turned all smoky and portentous-looking … that means difficult times lie ahead this month. You will face challenges, and while I’d love to assure you of your future perseverance, that would make me a liar. Ultimately, the gut-wrenching, mind-shattering issues you will grapple with this month will not leave you with a fresh, new perspective so much as a bitter, confused outlook on life. I know … Debbie Downer, right? Buck up, lil’ fishies—my spiritual sources tell me that August will be much better. I can’t tell you much (that’s for a future Visiting Visionary), but in the meantime, lay low, watch Netflix quality comedies (might I suggest the eternal classic Wayne’s World), and stock up on some good chocolate … you’re going to need it.
Aries
You’re hot this month, and that’s not just because your astrological element is fire. (That’s a little horoscope humor for you.) Your adventurous attitude will compel you to do all of the things you’ve ever wanted to but put off because of money, time, danger, etc. You’ll sign up for that Portuguese class; you’ll tell that guy in HR that you’ve got something that needs “stamping”; you might even attempt rollerblading. Though I admire your outgoing spirit, you “Ariesians” tend to never err on the side of caution and often get into trouble. Put a check on your soaring courage—invest in good knees pads … and possibly a lawyer knowledgeable in sexual harassment suits.
