Losing Faith

It was the year of 1988. My life was going well and my husband, at the time, was doing what he loved, playing golf right behind our home, playing the bond market, and enjoying life with me and our son. My daughter, Jennifer, from a former marriage, was living with us temporarily. Did I mention that it was July? I never know what to expect in that month, you can celebrate the fourth of July, you can go to the lake or the beach, do yard work, or you can have the worst month possible! My husband came home from work and said, “I lost all the money I was trading for the company I work for.” I knew that didn’t sound good but had no idea what ramifications it would have on all of our lives for many years to come.

Jennifer went to Florida with some friends and I continued on with Junior League, church, taking care of my son, cleaning and shopping. I had an uneasy feeling about the future, I couldn’t put my finger on exactly where this feeling was from or why but I knew that Jennifer was pregnant and not married. Jennifer never told me she was pregnant but I knew she was, there were signs … eating a lot of food, gaining some weight, sleeping a lot and she was not working. We had flown her to Texas to an unwed mothers home. She had her boyfriend pick her up and bring her back to Arkansas where we all lived.

Normally I would have taken charge of the situation and offered her some options but we were going through financial difficulties, major changes, and I wanted her at nineteen years of age to make the decision about what to do with the baby. Abortion was not an option for us, as a family, nor for her. Someone that I was close too, recommended a lady who found homes for children. I suggested this person to Jennifer, although, it broke my heart to have to resort to this type of help.

The baby was due in October and that gave Jennifer time to think about what she thought was best for everyone but especially for the baby. My husband’s boss owed us 100,000 dollars and if we could recover that amount we could take care of Jennifer, the baby, and all of our bills that were piling up while thinking about what the heck I could do to help the situation financially and emotionally.