Losing Faith

All we could do was wait, hope, and pray that she would live and grow to be whatever God wanted her to be. I waited and slept on the couch every night for any information the hospital had about her condition. On the night of August 21, the phone rang, it was late and I called from the couch to my husband in the next room, “Was that the hospital?” Yes, was all that was said, “Is she gone?” I asked in resignation, “Yes, she’s gone”, and that was all that I hoped I would never hear. I called my pastor and we had a service a few days later, I lost my first and only granddaughter to Beta Strep, they may call it something different now in the 21st century but it took my Faith in more ways than one.

I can still see her little casket and remember my mothers words, “that looks as small as a bread basket.” Faith was four pounds and eleven ounces, not too small for a preemie, she was so pretty, and delicate, with such a rosie little mouth and I wanted her to grow up and live life to the fullest, be it with us or the adoptive parents. Jennifer now has three boys ages fourteen, sixteen and eighteen. I am remarried now and live an hour away from where I lived when we lost Faith. I live in the boonies and I am isolated, miss my son, daughter and grandsons, but most of all I miss the Faith I used to have. I used to tell every pregnant woman I saw or knew to have themselves tested for Beta Strep and some have told me they did and they had it. If, you are pregnant or know someone who is, please remember to have your doctor test for this disease! Faith’s father was a carrier and had another child with Beta Strep but the baby lived and I hope still thriving.