What I know about government mostly came from my eighth grade Constitution unit. I vaguely recall sharpening my colored pencils and using art and memorization to show the inner workings of the three branches of government. However, it wasn’t until much later, during my second voting election, that I found my place in our “model” democracy. Once Bill Clinton had secured the popular vote in 1996, I called my father to contemplate. “Dad, I don’t know whether I should stay home and watch the Simpsons or go vote for Clinton.” He lectured me as a good father should, reminding me that men had died for my right to vote (if his finger could have come through the receiver, it would have), so I trotted off to my polling place, cast my vote, and rushed back home in time to catch some of Bart’s sophomoric antics.
As an adult, I grew to enjoy a fine political flogging through debate, but really, I just wanted to enjoy a good party at the conventions. Caucuses and primaries might be the political equivalent to the Emmys and Golden Globes, but they roll out the red carpet when they get down to the party conventions to choose Best Candidate.
While I watched and learned, I saw the packed hall of pasty folks in goofy hats. Party conventions were where activist girlfriends snuck in and were arrested, and the place to offer up hot politicians on a podium (did you see 1988’s John F. Kennedy, Jr. speech?). The party conventions give me a final chance to judge my fellow man (and wonder about the woman). It’s where I could rate how well my future Commander-in-Chief might fare while he took a cloudy stance on my issues.
How They Roll Out the Red (and Blue) Carpet
It begins with a Call to Convention, where each party calls their party to gather and select a nominee for president. This is where the amount of delegates is decided upon for each party. Policy says that the party not currently in the White House convenes first and conventions run in large cities for four days toward the end of the summer. This year the parties chose late convention dates in order to fundraise as much capital from donations beforehand. After the convention, the nominees may accept government funds for the general election, but they can’t raise or spend private funds or spend more than $50,000 of their personal resources once they accept these government funds.
