Country Available: As-Is Condition, a Fixer-Upper

In anticipation of letting go of a home or apartment, tenants are advised by brokers to straighten up, set out fresh flowers, and bake chocolate chip cookies to make it more appealing at an open house—but that’s not what George Bush is doing. He’s leaving the country “as is”: a “fixer-upper” with a disastrous economy, held in low esteem everywhere, and with no resolution for the war he started.

No, this president is not frantically attempting to clean up the mess. He’s unresponsive to criticism, unmoved by Nancy Pelosi’s demand that he, not his military leaders, address Congress. To date, the war has cost some 4,000 American lives with tens of thousands seriously wounded. Harry Reid put the cost of the war at around $3 trillion, which he said breaks down to $5,000 per second—well beyond what even my most indulgent, Barney-shopping friends are capable of spending. Yet our cowboy president will ride off into the Texas sunset and never look back, leaving the trash to be picked up by number forty-four.