In my opinion, every single awards show should have a five-word limit on acceptance speeches.
For those of you who don’t follow these shows religiously (as I do), the Webby Awards are the so-called Oscars of the Internet. Winners are allowed to use only five words in their acceptance speeches.
My favorite from this year’s acceptance speeches:
- Best Writing: Onion News Network
Together, we’ll make reading obsolete.
Nine other good ones:
- Animation: 30-Second Bunnies Theatre
The bunnies love their viewers.
- Comedy: Long Form or Series: Wainy Days
Well, well, well, well, well.
- Events and Live Broadcasts: Heart Transplant Procedure
Don’t take your organs to heaven.
- Music: Freestyle 101
Freestyle 101, nerd-pop meets hip-hop…that’s a hyphen, bitches.
- News & Politics: Series: Onion News Network
Thank you for this Pulitzer.
- News & Politics: Individual Episode: Finding Your Way Home
I should have worn jeans.
- Public Service & Activism: Titangreens.com
Gore’s hilarious love child accepts.
- Sports: The Burly Sports Show
You like me, you really …?
- Travel: Frugal Traveler: American Road Trip
Please don’t climb our building.
Last year, David Bowie (accepting a lifetime achievement Webby) broke this rule, but got away with it because he was just so witty:
I only get five words? Shit, that was five. Four more there. That’s three. Two.
Photo courtesy of Webby Awards; Prince accepting his Webby Lifetime Achievement Award
