Smells Like Teen Spirit

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Created by perfumer Antoine Lie for rebel fragrance line Etat Libre D’Orange, Sécrétions Magnifiques features the four “S’s” of raw sexuality: Sperm, Sweat, Saliva, and Sang (French for blood).

If you could smell it with a French accent, it’d be erotic, provocative, sensual, and dirty (in a lacey French way). In plain English, it’s gross. Gross … but also genius.

Etat Libre D’Orange wants to rock the fragrance world with their liberal, subversive, and edgy fragrances, and rock the fragrance world they will … if they take it just a little step further.

Sure, it’s provocative to suggest actually smelling like the essence of a good old nasty roll in the hay with a sweaty business man, but the thing is I don’t want to smell like any old sperm, sweat, saliva, and blood—I want to smell like celebrity sperm, sweat, saliva, and blood (and actually I wouldn’t mind a few little tears thrown in too).

Celebrities have been trying to sell us sex with their overthought fragrances for years now, but imagine if they actually sold us their secretions?

Last year Britney Spears outsold everyone else in the extremely lucrative celebrity fragrance market. You’d imagine people would pay to be pungent like Posh or Paris, or sweetly scented like SJP, but no, they want to smell like Britney.

Well, give the people what they ask for I say with “Sécrétions Magnifiques de Britney.” (They could have a whole series of fragrances to go with her mood and career swings.)

Smells like a good idea to me …

Sécrétions Magnifiques is available exclusively at Harvey Nichols in UK and Henri Bendel in U.S. 



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