Whenever you come home from the salon with tears in your eyes and something that resembles roadkill on your head, everybody responds with, “Don’t worry, it’s just hair; it will grow back!” But in 2005, when I left a salon looking like T-Boz from TLC, that was the last thing I wanted to hear. I just wanted to hide under the covers, buy a wig, and learn how to become invisible for the next six months.
For those of you who didn’t grow up chasing waterfalls and listening to TLC, T-Boz’s ’do is pretty much a backward mullet. She has long, shaggy strands in the front and a practically shaved head in the back—very Kate Gosselin and very unattractive (at least on me).
It happened the summer after I graduated from college. I was in the mood for a change, so I tried my best friend’s stylist (someone totally new to me) and told her I wanted something short, fun, and funky. That was mistake number one. Never tell a stylist you “don’t really care” and to just do “whatever you think will work best on me.” You’ll end up looking like a has-been rock star, just like I did. As I walked out of the salon and kept rubbing the nearly naked backside of my head, the wise words of Cher kept running through my mind: If I could turn back time …
Shockingly, I couldn’t. I was stuck with T-Boz for the rest of the summer and a large chunk of the fall. After a few weeks of canceling dates with friends and hiding out in bed, though, I got over it and realized that everyone was actually right—it is just hair and it does grow back. The funniest part is that even though I hated my disastrous ’do when it happened, when I look back on the pictures from that time, I realize it actually looked kinda cute.