If I was to develop a tanning mist that magically bestows a flawless tan upon pasty-white legs, I'd probably call in a golden Kate Hudson to ahem, "collaborate" with me. More-orange-than-gold celebs I'd avoid include Paris, Britney, Lindsay, and Donald (Trump), but, what do I know? Celebrity airbrush tanner Lorit has collaborated with Lindsay Lo to create a luxurious tanning spray; it's infused with Goji Berry and Chardonnay extracts to help keep the skin hydrated, and promises it doesn't stink like other tanners. I'm going to give it a go, and not just because it has Chardonnay. Lindsay needs the money and I don't need skin cancer.

Everyone knew I was menstrual this past weekend and not just because I was bloated, irritable, and evil; I had a pimple-monster on my chin. Worried that my heightened sebaceous gland activity––triggered by a genetic predisposition, hormonal influences, impurities, too much chocolate, clogged pores, and fluctuating hormonal changes––would steal the limelight at the weekend, I zapped that zit with my secret weapon, Clinique's Emergency Gel-Lotion. I've been using it for ages now, and it never fails me.

Face masks are so much work––1. Slap stuff on face, avoiding breathing holes and eyes 2. Scare cat, kids, and lovers. 3. Get mask all over couch while waiting for magic to happen. 4. Don't smile or face will crack. 5. Clean up mess on face and sink. I usually avoid masks for these five reasons, but I'm really eager to try out Origins' Plantidote Mega-Mushroom Skin-Calming Face Mask. It's a creamy mask using all sorts of weird science and not-your-average mushrooms to relieve challenged skin. It won a Men's Health grooming award for 2009 and sounds pretty impressive. Buy it for your man, and swipe it twice a week.