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15 products for Your "50 Shades of Grey" Lifestyle

  • Tie Necklace

    Apparently the guy in the book wears a lot of ties? So instead of being truly stylish and donning some kicky Annie Hall-style menswear, put on a wee faux-tie necklace that makes you look like a giant. 

    From Etsy shop LiveLoveLeaf

  • Handcuff Necklace

    If you're not into wee tie necklaces, you might consider a wee handcuff necklace. WARNING: May start gossip about your behavior between the sheets, unless, of course, you or your partner is a police officer.

    From Etsy shop RainingBeauty

  • Bracelet

    There's something to be said for being bold with your accessories, but we think this bracelet might invite some unwanted—or at least inappropriate—attention. On the plus side, you'd probably meet a lot of interesting people.

    From Etsy shop TourbillonDeLaVie

  • Flogger Earrings

    Nothing says "respectable middle-aged mom” like a pair of flogger earrings! If red and black isn't your thing, don't worry! These little beauties are available in any color combination.

    From Etsy shop VividVariationsSpain

  • Keychain

    What’s sexxxier than a keychain? Especially a keychain that advertises your sexual preference? It’s making me all hot and bothered right now.

    From Etsy shop StuffByStace

  • Phone Case

    If this subtle item doesn’t remind you of your favorite book every time you get a call, I don't know what will. It will also have strangers saying, “What's all that crap on your phone?” and you’ll reply, “Oh, it’s just my Fifty Shades of Grey phone case. Couldn't you tell by the tie and mask and lips and handcuffs?” and the person will say, “Oh you read that stuff?” and you’ll say, “Yes, it’s totes my fave, OMG I wish I was being spanked this very moment!” and then the person will say, “Okay then.”

    From Etsy shop MagPieMakesIt

  • Sweatshirt

    You need this, because being the "property" of a fictional character is something that everybody needs to know. Baristas, deliverymen, people on the bus, the cute guy at your gym, the not-so-cute guy at your gym, everybody.

    From Etsy shop BirdysBoutiqueShop

  • Sweatpants

    The DC staff rarely supports sweatpants with words across the back, but these are particularly bad. “Laters baby”? I’m sorry, but men who can't speak English properly should not be rewarded for their dunce-itude by getting to have sex with college grads. 

    From Etsy shop OfficiallyLicensed

  • Coffee Mug

    "Mommy, who's Mr. Grey?"

    "Nobody, honey. Just the fictional man I fantasize about."

    "Why does he want to see you?"

    "Mommy's been a very bad girl and she needs to be punished."

    From Etsy shop PickMeCups

  • Wine Glass

    When you’re gathered with your lady friends, discussing all the various ways that Anastasia and Mr. Grey get funky and how all of you would like to get funky with your accountant husbands, make sure to bring your personalized wine glass so you don’t accidentally sip each other’s chardonnay. One must have boundaries, after all. 

    From Etsy shop AnchorAvenueDesigns

  • Wall Art

    Apparently this is something that the main character exclaims quite often. As in, “Oh my, Mr. Grey, your throbbing member is quite tumescent,” or “Oh my, I don’t believe you should put that toothbrush down there, Mr. Grey,” or “Oh my, I was sort of into this at first, but now I’m starting to think that you’re an unstable asshole who gets off on abusing women.” 

    From Etsy shop bronalexander

  • Soap Handcuffs

    I am told that handcuffs are featured quite prominently in this book. Get a set of soap cuffs, so when you’re done in the bedroom, you can wash up afterwards. Guaranteed to confuse and alarm house guests.

    From Etsy shop ajsweetsoap

  • Ornaments

    Deck the halls with whips and handcuffs. Fa la la la la, la la la la.

    Tis the season to get rough. Fa la la la la, la la la la.

    Don we now our chains and leather. Fa la la la la, la la la la.

    Troll through Etsy, laugh together. Fa la la la la, la la la la.

    From (the appropriately named) Etsy shop AllBalls

  • Cookies

    Okay, these are pretty cool. 

    From Etsy shop 4theloveofcookies

  • Minion?

    I got nothing. It's not appropriate for adults; it's not appropriate for kids. What were you thinking, Pamela?!

    From Etsy shop Pamelaswoodcrafts


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