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7 Not-So-Sexy Halloween Costumes We're Hoping You'll Never, Ever Wear

"In the regular world, Halloween is when children dress up in costumes and beg for candy. In Girl World, Halloween is the one night a year when a girl can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it." This dead-on line from "Mean Girls" sums up most of the atrocities worn by grown women each Halloween, but some costumes just can't be explained. Check out seven costumes we found that will never be sexy, no matter how hard you try.
  • Sassy Sulley

    This "sexy" Monster's Inc.costume is the perfect way to sexually confuse anybody who has actually seen the movie. Because they're either 5 years old, or watched it with a 5 year old.


    Disguise, $47.95

  • Tinman

    I can't even fathom what kind of person would ruin a classic film by using it as an excuse to put their cleavage on display. If you only had a heart…


    Rubie's Costume Co., $38.53

  • Full-Body Leopard Suit

    This Halloween, remember: Nobody cares about your face. Seriously. As long as we can see the outline of your ass, you're good.


    WitBuy, $48.99

  • Native American Chief

    Dressing up as a half-naked Native American Chief is a great way to let everyone know you know nothing about other cultures. Bonus points if you refer to yourself as Indian all night.


    Be Wicked Costumes, $53.23

  • Chinese Take Out

    No. Just… No. There is nothing sexy about a paper box that sits in the back of your fridge for a week collecting condensation.


    Escante, $31.93

  • Lava Lamp

    What do people who wear this as a costume have in common with an actual Lava Lamp? They've probably both been living in a basement for the last decade.


    Rasta Imposta, $56.94

  • Bacon Dress

    Let's be honest: This isn't even a costume, it's just a really ugly dress.


    Rasta Imposta, $25.95

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