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7 Not-So-Sexy Halloween Costumes We're Hoping You'll Never, Ever Wear

  • Sassy Sulley

    This "sexy" Monster's Inc.costume is the perfect way to sexually confuse anybody who has actually seen the movie. Because they're either 5 years old, or watched it with a 5 year old.

    Disguise, $47.95

  • Tinman

    I can't even fathom what kind of person would ruin a classic film by using it as an excuse to put their cleavage on display. If you only had a heart…

    Rubie's Costume Co., $38.53

  • Full-Body Leopard Suit

    This Halloween, remember: Nobody cares about your face. Seriously. As long as we can see the outline of your ass, you're good.

    WitBuy, $48.99

  • Native American Chief

    Dressing up as a half-naked Native American Chief is a great way to let everyone know you know nothing about other cultures. Bonus points if you refer to yourself as Indian all night.

    Be Wicked Costumes, $53.23

  • Chinese Take Out

    No. Just… No. There is nothing sexy about a paper box that sits in the back of your fridge for a week collecting condensation.

    Escante, $31.93

  • Lava Lamp

    What do people who wear this as a costume have in common with an actual Lava Lamp? They've probably both been living in a basement for the last decade.

    Rasta Imposta, $56.94

  • Bacon Dress

    Let's be honest: This isn't even a costume, it's just a really ugly dress.

    Rasta Imposta, $25.95


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