The Bug Boogie

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The other night I was in a semi-sleep state and noticed that my ears and nose were cold. I pulled the covers over my head and tucked myself into a cozy nest. As I was drifting back to a blissful sleep state, I felt something flutter across my face. Intuitively and instantly, I levitated in a horizontal position OFF the bed, rotating myself to a standing position as I pulled the covers down to discover a two-inch ROACH dazed and confused on my sheet!

Dontcha hate going from an alpha brain wave to an adrenalin flow in mere seconds? It makes my skin itch, and so do roaches! I got my shoe and flicked it off the bed and then smashed it flatter than a pancake. I was angry, shocked, and disgusted. I’d sure’nuff done a bug boogie in getting out of that bed in the middle of the night.

Sal and I just don’t like bugs, especially the kind that can fly. I was in the car yesterday watching Sally as she approached after having been in the drug store, and her bug boogie began as she bent her left arm and casually flicked some flying something away from her face, except that whatever it was then got caught in her hair! It was hilarious to be on the watching end of a bug boogie instead of doing the dance myself, so I started laughing. She was DEAD serious in hitting her head, flinging her wrists as she tried to get it out … and she even did a sort of sideways shuffle with a bend at the waist and head down to encourage the bug’s exit off her scalp, dropping her shopping bag on the parking lot pavement. I was hitting the steering wheel with my hand because I was laughing so hard.

I’ve also seen Sal do the horizontal levitation bug boogie right off a chaise lounge by the pool trying to get away from an angry bee. And, forget about any waspish flying creature! Sal and I immediately go into the sideways shuffle with arms up and waving while our heads are down so far as to notice a hangnail on our toes!

In central Texas, we have these really creepy-looking big black bugs with long legs that stick on you when they land. I did a shimmy/shake bug boogie on a front lawn once when a stick bug landed on my back … in front of about six people who thought I was having a seizure of some kind. The wrists were flying, and I was actually jumping and spinning at the same time with my BFF bent over in laughter. After I’d exhausted myself and was sure the bug had jumped off, I stopped, still in an excited state of horror and screamed, “IS IT GONE? IS IT GONE?!” My friend could barely whisper the word, “No” as she kept laughing. At the answer I so didn’t want to hear, I then started running around the yard, hopping just to get the thing dislodged! My bug boogie had African, world dance kinds of moves in it, and provided my friends with an enjoyable few moments at my expense.

Here’s the thing—you don’t care what you look like during an extreme bug boogie, but it’s not pretty!


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