I’m a big fan of those apps that allow you to see the Earth from Space. It fascinates me that I can key in an address and then zoom in from space on the location in a dizzying rush. This makes me an impossible geek . . . but it’s SO COOL.
So last night, we’re lying in bed and I was using Google Earth to fly around and look at stuff (on my laptop . . . I can’t actually fly, although I tell people I can). I started out looking at a location near where I used to live where they supposedly had a pet food research kennel. It sat high on a hill, far back from the road and was very mysterious. No one in the area really knew what they did up there, but the sound of many barking dogs could be heard by the neighbors if the wind was just right. They allowed no visitors to the facility . . . but I have GOOGLE EARTH! So I just zoomed in on their kennel operation from space. I still can’t tell what goes on there, but I feel very sneaky.
Other cool places I like to zoom to are Chernobyl and the neighboring (and thereby glowing) town of Pri’pyat where you can actually zoom down to street level and at certain places you are able to look around in a 360 degree view just like you’re standing right there on the street! (yes . . . that’s your Geek Detector going off) I also feel like I’m violating 543 Ukrainian laws by being in their airspace looking at their giant nuclear failure. WIN!
I also like the Joliet Arsenal property in Joliet, Illinois. Endlessly fascinating. Old rail lines and bunkers that stored millions of tons of explosives can be seen from space. It used to be restricted airspace, but I guess if you’re a satellite, it doesn’t apply or maybe they just got rid of that rule . . . While I’m in the mood to zoom around military weapons caches I usually visit the Newport Chemical Depot (which freaks me out . . . read about it HERE). I’m always certain that there’s SOMETHING going on at these places that no one knows about and maybe, just maybe I’ll catch a glimpse of some guy in a white hazmat suit stirring up a vat of nerve gas . . . because everyone knows that stuff is made in VATS. All spooky stuff is made in vats, because VAT is a spooky word. Stay with me, okay?
Back to last night in bed. I was wide awake and Tom was trying to fall asleep but I kept watching Glee videos on YouTube. Finally, I thought I might be perceived as annoying so I went to something quieter and broke out the Google Earth app. I’ve been reading a book on my phone about Area 51 so GUESS WHERE I WENT! I was surprised that you can just key in “Area 51” and it will zoom you right to that location where you can see the whole freaky place from the sky. While I was zooming around looking at suspicious activity (read as: cars parked there) I was muttering a lot. Tom still couldn’t fall asleep because I wouldn’t shut up . . . which serves him right because of THIS. He finally had enough.
“WHAT are you DOING?”
“What are you looking at?”
“Oh great. Now there are going to be black cars parked in the drive way and helicopters with search lights flying over the house.”
“IT’S SO COOL. I think they keep the big flying saucers parked inside these buildings . . . ”
“You know . . . they have helicopters that can hear what you’re saying right through the walls of your house?”
“No they don’t . . . LOOK AT THAT SPOOKY PLANE.”
“It’s a fighter jet . . . I don’t want to go to jail.”
“Look at ALL THAT WEIRD STUFF ON THE GROUND.”
“That’s called concrete . . . that’s a runway, dear.”
“WOW. But there are weird LINES on it.”
This went on for a little while with me marveling over what was probably just the pizza delivery guy’s car parked at one of the buildings. Tom finally quit ranting about not wanting to go to jail. I was getting sleepy so I put away my laptop and flopped around in bed until I got comfy. I was lying in there in the dark when Tom whispered . . .
“HELICOPTERS. They KNOW.”
So if you don’t hear from me for a few days, figure I’ve been taken away in the back of a black car with tinted windows to have my memory scrubbed.
Damn Google Earth.