Airhead (noun) — What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.
Argument (noun) — A discussion that occurs when you’re right, but he just hasn’t realized it yet.
Bar-be-que (noun) — You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he, “made the dinner.”
Blonde jokes (noun) — Jokes that are short so men can understand them.
Cantaloupe (noun) — Gotta get married in a church.
Childbirth (noun) — You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say “focus,…breath…push…”
Clothes dryer (noun) — An appliance designed to eat socks.
Diet Soda (noun) — A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.
Eternity (noun) — The last two minutes of a football game.
Exercise (verb) — To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.
Grocery List (noun) — What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.
Hair Dresser (noun) — Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See “Magician.”
Hardware Store (noun) — Similar to a black hole in space-if he goes in, he isn’t coming out anytime soon.
Lipstick (noun) — On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear…!
Park (verb/noun) — Before children, a verb meaning, “to go somewhere and neck.” After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.
Patience (noun) — The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also “tranquilizers.”
Waterproof Mascara (noun) — Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.
