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Don’t Stop Beliebing: Weird and Wacky Justin Bieber Merch

As long as there have been teenage fangirls in love with sweet, nonthreatening male pop stars, there have been gifts and tchotchkes and keepsakes to commemorate that love. Two generations ago, girls owned Beatles aprons. Those gave way to David Cassidy lunch boxes and eventually to New Kids on the Block shoelaces. The kids these days, they have Justin Bieber. Along with a whole lot of weird crap that they can buy to show their devotion. Related Stories: Gone, but Not For Long: Seven Celebrity Death Hoaxes Enough Already: Spokespeople We Could Live Without Twelve Magical Mementoes of the Royal Wedding
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Singing Justin Bieber Doll
Limited Edition Nail Lacquer by Nicole by O.P.I
Shower Curtain
Singing Toothbrush
Dental Floss
Plush Blanket
Wig
Cardboard Stand Up
Pull-String Piñata
Girl’s One-Piece Ruffle Photo Swimsuit
Customized Unicorn Print
Photo Holiday Ornament

Wig

If your adoration has progressed to the level of stealing used boxers from the trash and fantasizing about whether Justin’s skin would make a good Snuggie, a Justin Bieber wig may be just what you need! Emulate his signature ’do while you creep around his bushes; that way if you get caught, he’ll realize that you’re meant to be together. (Justinbieberwig.com)

Limited Edition Nail Lacquer by Nicole by O.P.I

Justin’s line of heartbreakingly cute polishes includes shades like Step 2 the Beat of My Heart, One Less Lonely Glitter, and OMB! This shade, ‘Baby’ Blue, matches his dreamy eyes! ($5.99, ULTA)

Shower Curtain

It’s pretty safe to say that lots of people think about Justin Bieber while they’re in the shower. ($74.95, Etsy)

Singing Toothbrush

Anyone who’s ever read Justin’s autobiography knows that his biggest turn-on is good dental hygiene. Get clean teeth while he sweetly serenades you with two of his hits. ($9.99, Justinbiebertoothbrush.com)

Dental Floss

I told you—Justin is really passionate about preventing periodontal disease. The Justin Bieber Oral Care Collection includes toothbrushes (both singing and silent models), floss, flossers, and a travel kit. ($1.99, Justinbiebertoothbrush.com)

Plush Blanket

Wrap yourself in this cozy plush blanket and imagine that it’s Justin’s arms cuddling you to sleep. ($54.99, Kohl’s)

Wig

If your adoration has progressed to the level of stealing used boxers from the trash and fantasizing about whether Justin’s skin would make a good Snuggie, a Justin Bieber wig may be just what you need! Emulate his signature ’do while you creep around his bushes; that way if you get caught, he’ll realize that you’re meant to be together. (Justinbieberwig.com)

Cardboard Stand Up

This twenty-two-by-seventy-inch cardboard cutout features Bieber at his most Bieberific; it’s perfect for placing at the end of your bed so that his angelic visage is the last thing you’ll see before falling asleep. Or perfect for scaring the crap out of you when you wake up in the middle of the night. ($35, Justinbieber.shop.bravadousa.com)

Pull-String Piñata

Everyone will have fun bashing this piñata to pieces with blunt instruments. You might even want to put candy inside. ($24.99, Target)

Girl’s One-Piece Ruffle Photo Swimsuit

Because every father dreams of seeing Justin Bieber emerge from his daughter’s vagina. ($20, Kmart)

Customized Unicorn Print

Make your dream of riding a unicorn with Justin a reality! Just send in a few pics, and the face on that body will be yours. If you want to fulfill all your fantasies and add a Jonas brother to the mix, though, that’ll cost ya. ($40, Etsy)

Photo Holiday Ornament

Mom: This ornament commemorates Billy’s first Christmas, this one we inherited when Nana passed away, this one contains Fluffy’s ashes… Dad: What’s this one? Mom: Oh, it’s just some Canadian teenager we’ve never met. ($20, Justinbieber.shop.bravadousa.com)

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