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Drunk from Soda?

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Is it possible to get drunk from too much pop? (aka: soda) I’m serious. I know, I know, its crazy right? A preposterous theory if ever there was one. However, I propose that such a thing is indeed possible. Why else would I act like a complete and utter fool every time I take a sip from the precious bottle of life? I realize, of course, that there’s the caffine factor. Maybe it’s just a buzz from that? No, I don’t think so.


Why? Well, first of all when I drink pop, I drink pop. I down the whole two liter (yes, I’m aware of the health risk). This amount of liquid in my system tends to leave me unbalanced. What with half a gallon of pop sloshing around in my stomach every time I walk, I guess it’s to be expected. It also leaves me acting like an imbecile. Now, I think you should know I don’t drink anything alcoholic. Never been drunk. Nada. So maybe it’s kind of a stretch, seeing how I’m a virgin in that field.


Still, ask anyone that knows me knows, I get drunk on pop. I suppose maybe I should rejoice in this fact, for there’s no really terrible side effects. Yes, I get a little bit of nausea, and I often get excruciating headaches, but there’s no vomiting, and no bad breath, and no damage to my liver. Of course , my doctor did say that I was drowning my organs, and my sodium was extremely low, so I guess those would be considered as bad side effects, yah it’s defiantly not something I’d recommend doing.


My theory is this, I’m no doctor so I’m not preaching this like it’s gospel truth. It’s a theory, but I personally think that when I consume such a large amount of liquid it lowers my sodium to such a degree that it leaves me feeling foggy, goofy, unbalanced, and over all crazy. Basically it makes me feel drunk. It’s too bad they don’t offer AA meeting for people addicted to drowning their organs in pop. It’d be a lot better for my health if I could clean up my act and stay sober. Well, got to go get some more pop. I just finished my last bottle. Praise the almighty lord for diet coke. The one thing you don’t need an ID for.

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