Elizabeth: Well, now that the major winter holidays are over and I have returned that bronze bust of Elvis that goes with nada in my house or in my universe, it is time to turn our attention back to getting Coaches on the Edge on the cover of O Magazine. I like to look at it as if this it is our mission from God. It worked for John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd in the Blues Brothers and I am betting it will work for us. Plus we are cuter. Not by a lot, but we’ll take it.
Laurie: Elizabeth, I am crushed. That statue of Elvis was guaranteed to become a collector’s item. And I was hoping to expand your horizons (and get you out of the hippy-dippy Sixties and into the good-ole-Southern-boy sphere) but alas, my effort went unappreciated. I can’t imagine where you returned it since I regifted it to you, but I hope you got the true value worthy of a bronze statue of The King.
Elizabeth: Oh, you gave me that bronze bust of Elvis? Well. You know I took another look at it and I think it will go great right by the nightlight I have set up for my cats. I doubt any of them would open an eye with Mr. All Shook Up staring at them. Friends again? Whatever. This is about Oprah. She has a birthday on January 29, which is just four months before mine. What a kick when Oprah says yes (and we know she will) between January 29 and May 29. Why I can hear eggs being cracked and flour rising with a slew of cakes declaring that the Coaches on the Edge are getting their lovely mugs on the cover of O. And on that day, calories will not count.
Laurie: Now we just have to figure out what would be the perfect gift for Oprah. I’m sure her needs have already been taken care of, as have almost anything in the world that she may deign to want. So our gift would have to be impractical, totally fun, symbolic of our love for pioneers who left a stamp on history, and full of “A Whole Lotta Loving.” Have the cats gotten attached to the Elvis bust yet?