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How to Battle High Gas Prices

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The first thing is the way gas is priced. I’m not talking about the high prices yet, but that stupid 9/10ths of a penny that’s on the cost of a gallon of gas. Is there that says it must be priced that way? No. Look, next time you think about this go into a gas station tell the owner you want to buy a single gallon on gas. Say the price is 4.09 and 9/10ths give the clerk $4.10 and tell the clerk you want your change—the 1/0th of a penny. If they tell you they can’t do that, then tell them to change the stupid price.

Next is how to save and/or conserve gas.

  • Always shake your hose to get every drop. But make sure the gas hose is visible so you aren’t arrested for lude behavior.
  • Fill the tank only halfway and tell yourself it’s half full not half empty. Take only one-way trips. Huh? Drive from north to south, its downhill.
  • Don’t start your car until you’re ready to use it. Duh!
  • Cut your toenails and lighten up that heavy-foot. Check the air in the tires. If you have 35 pounds in each tire that’s 140 pounds. Let half of it out and then it will only 70 pounds. Remember a lighter car gets better mileage.
  • Take a bus. No, I really mean, take the bus. As in steal it. Run a car pool for jockeys. You can fit plenty of them in your car and put a couple of saddles on the roof for extra seating.

I tried to highjack a gasoline truck but there were secret service running along side of it. For some reason they were all black agents? Any way there are numerous ways of saving at the pump including spending time in jail like me for following my own advice.


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