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If These Stock-Photo Characters Could Talk...

Businesspeople pointing at laptop. Laughing couple holding hands. Dog wearing an Elvis wig. Welcome to the world of stock photography, which those of us who work in media journey through every day, looking for that perfect image that tells just the right story. Or, at least, kinda-sorta does. Stock photos say something about the article they’re paired with, even if that statement is as generic and bland as, I’m a successful businesswoman, which you can tell because I’m holding a cell phone. Finding the right picture means wading through hundreds of images, but don’t think that all stock photos are contrived and boring. Some are unabashedly bizarre, and we often wonder exactly what stories these out-there images are trying to tell. Related Stories: Seven Studies That Confirm What We Already Know WTFlorida? Why the Sunshine State is So Weird Ten Hilarious Bumper Stickers  
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“Ahh, Johnson, we meet again. I see you have dishonored the company by not completing your TPS reports. Let us circle back and huddle up to disintermediate on this. I will defeat you with SYNERGY!!!”

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“I can’t wait for the dance tonight. Billy is sure to notice me now!”

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“Yoo-hoo, young man, you said if I held this position for five minutes I’d win thirty cents off a cup of coffee at Perkins. Are you still holding my purse? Hello? Young man, where did you go?”

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“What do you mean? This is how I always sit. This is a perfectly natural position for a human being to be in.”

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“Now I know what all those pit bulls down at the dog run were raving about…fresh baby tastes amazing!”

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“No man cometh unto the Father but by me, bitch. Imma go John 3:16 on your ass.”

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“Hurry, Doc, I had Indian food for lunch!”

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“I knew Jim was the one for me when I saw how comprehensive his life insurance policy was.”

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“So that’s why they made Four Loko illegal…”

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