It Was Supposed to Be a Nice Breakfast

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So I thought I’d start the day off with a nice quaint breakfast before heading off into the real world of commerce and confusion. I grabbed my box of Raisin Bran and filled up my bowl to just the right amount. I then headed toward the fridge and reached in and took out my gallon of skim milk—recently opened might I add. As I turn, I slightly bump the side of the plastic jug on the counter and bust a small crack open in the jug. Immediately, milk starts gushing out like a pulmonary artery and I’m screaming out obscenities like an Italian mobster.

Medic! Medic! Man down, man down!

I look everywhere for something to pour the milk into; anything would do. I find nothing. I avert the immediate spray by laying the jug on its side in the sink.

Patient stabilized. But now what do I do with the rest of the milk? I have no other container to fill. I think thoughts of euthanasia—I could just poor the rest out. No, no, milk is too precious. I use it all the time. So I start thinking more like MacGyver—I need a piece of gum, some baking soda, and a hose. Finding none of the above, I have a sudden thought about the jug. It’s plastic. So it should melt if I add some type of heat to it. My inventive brain kicks in and I grab another small piece of plastic and put it over the hole like a patch. I then slowly began to make small welds around the crack and patch the hole up. I may have just found a new occupation.

Carefully, I turned the jug back on its side and find there is no longer a gushing leak. Success! My efforts have come out miraculous!

I pour myself some milk to compliment the cereal and set the milk down on the counter, only to have the entire side of the jug completely bust open. The welding must have weakened the other parts of the jug as they melted together.

I cleaned up the mess, ate my cereal, and left. What a great start to what will probably be an equally great day. At least I got my bowl of cereal!


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