Although I feel a certain amount of shame about my severe addiction, I think this may be the time to get it out in the open. Hiding it from my spouse, my friends, and my neighbors has become harder over the last year. I’m tired of the hiding and the lying. It’s time to face up to my problem.
When I stopped working full-time a couple of years ago, I realized I had more time on my hands to pursue interests, to get involved with issues, and to maybe look at some self-improvement opportunities. I thought about volunteering at the hospital, but then decided that it might involve being around sick people. Not for me. I then considered taking a course at the local college, but could not find anything listed that sparked my interest. I love animals and thought of volunteering at the local shelter, until I realized that the homeless animals would depress me too badly.
Time passes whether it’s productive time, or wasted time. After several months of looking for something that sparked my interest, I happened to turn on the television in the afternoon. That was a first for me. I’d like to say I was watching the Home and Garden Channel to learn to do home projects to amaze my friends. If I was watching the Food Network, I could say I was trying to improve my culinary talents to delight and astound my husband. I wasn’t even watching National Georgraphic, or the History Channel.
I hate to admit this but I got hooked on reality TV. It started innocently enough, watching Project Runway and wondering at the clothing designs both gruesome and gorgeous. Soon I moved on to Top Chef and actually felt like I was spending my time wisely. By the time I was hooked on America’s Next Top Model, I knew there was something wrong. After watching a marathon eight hours of ANTM, I could no longer kid myself about what was happening.
I also watch Flipping Out (about some guy who flips houses), What Not to Wear (how everyone, even men, can lose their individuality and look like a soccer mom), The Real Housewives of … (all of them), and Make Me a Supermodel (yeah, right). If it sounds like these eclectic programs might offer a worthwhile experience, believe me when I tell you they do not. I also watch something about pregnant women and babies (something I am long past, by the way).
For more intellectual stimulation, I tune in Judge Judy and/or Judge Joe, and then move on to more stimulating shows like Cops, or Cheaters. So many shows, so little time!
I have to lie about what I do with my time, you understand. And I have to turn the volume down when the phone rings because I don’t want someone to hear girls screeching, “Tyra mail!” in the background. I have to run to the closet to grab clothes during commercial breaks so I can dress in front of the screen so as not to miss a scintillating moment of all this action.
If there’s a recovery group out there, I haven’t heard of it. Plus, I might miss one of my shows if I was attending a recovery meeting!