Me – In All My Glorious Quirkiness

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I know I have some quirks, but when I asked my husband to list weird things about me I didn’t think he’d come up with so many. I had to cut him short before my feelings truly got hurt.

This is me. All of me.

1. We know I snore. I mentioned it in my very first post. But I don’t think you understand. The instant I fall asleep I’m rattling the windows. And as much as I love movies, I almost always fall asleep with only the last thirty minutes left of every movie we watch. It has taken us three nights to watch a single movie before. And Superman thinks I snore even when I’m awake. I call it heavy breathing. It usually happens late at night while watching TV in bed. What Superman doesn’t realize is that I dozed off and am just starting to snore. He thinks I’m awake, asks if I’m still awake, which then wakes me back up in time to answer yes. Leading him to believe I snore while awake.

2. Whenever I hear a car with really loud bass, I make my own bass beat. Don’t ask.

3. I give our pets voices. For example, my sweet baby Jack talks (in my mind) like he’s British.

4. Superman claims that I have to get the last word in everything, even texting, which is usually “K. XOXO” and I have been known to misspell XOXO.

5. I need coffee to survive but I hate the taste. Each and every cup of coffee I drink has two scoops of cocoa, 1 tablespoon of sugar and a splash of milk. Makes me feel all fancy like.

6. I’m afraid of clowns and I’m afraid of the dentist. I know I’m not alone in that. But I would have serious issues if my dentist ever dressed up like a clown.

7. I close my eyes when I brush my teeth. I don’t know why. It just happens. I’m working on that one.

8. I can laugh like Dorothy the Dinosaur from The Wiggles. I’m not saying that’s how I laugh, I just can.

9. I don’t eat spaghetti. It all started with the release of the 2006 movie How to Eat Fried Worms. I think you know where I’m going with this. I tried spaghetti again about 6 months after we saw the movie. It tasted pretty good until my brain manifested different images than were actually on my plate. I dumped it and haven’t eaten it since. I also can’t eat white rice. I’ll let you figure that one out.

10. I have an off-centered tattoo on my lower back. I think the guy was drinking when he did it because it’s clearly not in the middle. It’s a Chinese character that is supposed to be Superman’s name, but since I don’t read Chinese, I’ll never know if that’s really what it says.

11. Last but not least. This one is hard because I want to include pictures of what I mean, but I might have a hard time doing that. Drumroll please. Certain map images make me sick. There, I said it. Superman thinks it’s hilarious. But images, like … totally turn my stomach.

Excuse me, I suddenly have to go.

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