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Mixed Nuts

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Disclaimer: Before you start reading this, please note:  I am not the least bit P.C.  


I also want to point out that I don’t subscribe to the notion that a man saying something nice about a woman’s appearance is sexual harassment. If someone tells me I have nice legs, I say “Gee, thanks for noticing!” I’ve been told—and I believe—that I say what others merely think. And yes, my mouth is big enough to accommodate both of my feet … at once!


OK, so let’s get to the issue at hand—the Faith Hill and Tim McGraw concert in L.A., where she got pissed off when a fan grabbed Tim’s instrument. Faith, we get the picture. You don’t want another gal grabbing Tim’s nuts … even if they are squeezed into a skin-tight pair of black leather pants and stuck right into the face of an adoring fan. Girls just wanna have fun, Faith! Did anyone bother to ask Tim how he felt about it? Or maybe you’re just a little afraid that the gal will describe them as filberts (ouch!). Oh, and by the way, Faith, you can’t teach “class”. You are either born with it or you’re not!


On another subject, move over O.J., there’s a new killer in town. Brentwood is, once again, the locale of a murder. This time, the police know exactly whodunit. Four vicious dogs belonging to actor Ving Rhames mauled and bit to death the caretaker of his property on San Vicente Blvd. I say … if the teeth marks don’t fit, you must acquit. Where is Johnnie Cochran when you need him? Oh yeah, he’s dead too.


Finally, did you all read the story about the Arkansas family (specifically the mother) that just had its seventeenth child? What is it with men from Arkansas? Can’t they keep their instruments in their pants? Hmmm, kinda gets me thinking … I wonder if any of those seventeen kids could be a Clinton?


And, there you have it!


By Margot Calabrese


Related Story: Lily Allen Knocks ‘Em Out!


 

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