The clouds are dark and thick rolling with fierce speed across the sky. I wrap my sweater closer to me as I kick off my shoes, pour a glass of wine, and try to relax as I look over the night skylights of Chicago. I jump as the phone ringing brings me out of my thoughts.
Caller ID warns me it is mom, “Hi Mom.”
I pull the phone away from my ear as she yells, she is hysterical. Something about the dress not right, flowers not the right kind and “his mother” sticking her nose where it does not belong! I love my mom and if anyone knows when someone should stick ones nose into someone’s business it would be her! My kid sister Jessica is getting married in two weeks, Valentine’s Day. She is such a romantic; I just don’t understand why my baby sister has to have her dream wedding in February one of the coldest months in Wisconsin. If she needed a holiday why not July 4 with fireworks? I hate winter and weddings even if it is my sister’s. Why couldn’t she just elope like normal people?
“Stephanie! Stephanie! Are you still there? Are listening to me?”
“Yes mom and I hear you and I will be there. I know it is a long drive and I will be leaving tomorrow morning. Yes, I will be there in time to meet Jessie’s future in- laws. No, Jake will not be joining me. He is busy. I know you like him mom and yes he is nicer than all the others. No, I am not ready to commit to him mother leave it alone, please. I will see you tomorrow evening mom, bye love you.”
She just can’t be happy that one of her daughters is getting married; she has been trying to marry me off for the last five years! Why would I want to complicate things I like my life I have a wonderful job working for some very important people taking care of their money and get paid nicely to do so. I have a beautiful apartment that is the envy of many people, high above the city with a gorgeous view. Then there is Jake, he is a dream for many women, tall dark and handsome oh and he has family money. Mom keeps reminding me.
He is fun to be with and a great friend to talk to and hang out with but marry? I know he would like more from our relationship; he talks about the family he would like to have some day. That is usually where I change the subject. He has a wonderful laugh and a smile to make you dizzy. He asked if I wanted him to drive me home for Jessica’s wedding.
I said no maybe a little stronger than I should have but I didn’t want him or mom to get any ideas at Jessica’s wedding.
I am very happy for Jessica, Steve is a very good man, with family money, or mom would never approve! Even so you can see that she is happy and they love each other very much. He proposed to her a year ago on Valentine’s Day so maybe I should blame him for having to leave the freezing rain here in the city and head north into the country side of Wisconsin where they have snow up to their.
Phone rings again, it is Jake. I don’t want him to talk me into having him drive me. The ringing stops he will leave a message. It starts ringing again. Okay enough of this, I am out of here now, I have everything packed and ready to go. I will call him when I get out of town then it will be too late for him to sweet talk me.
I have my bags in the back, a full tank of gas, my favorite CD playing and a cooler full of cold pop to keep me awake. It takes about seven hours to drive home if the roads near the lake have been cleared out good. With family and friends coming in for Jessica’s wedding I am sure mom has had the snowplows out day and night. If dad was still alive I could see him hiding in his office pretending not to notice everyone running around like chickens without their heads that is how he would describe it! Going home these days was not the same with dad not there. I miss him he was my best friend ever. We did everything together and it drove my mom crazy till Jessica came along then she had her little girl and not a tomboy that didn’t want anything to do with tea parties and boys unless it was to have a good fight. I remember nights in bed hearing mom yell at him that I was not the son he wanted and she couldn’t give him. Poor daddy.
Mom has George now to take care of her and make sure she has everything she needs. He dotes on her every wish and command!
As I flow with the traffic leaving Chicago I call Jake.
“Where have you been? He sounds worried, “I have tried calling you all evening. Have you eaten? Want to go out for dinner?”
“No, I changed my plans I am on my way out of Chicago now.”
“WHAT do you think you are doing?”
“Jake, keep talking to me that way I will hang up on you.”
“Steph, I am sorry, why couldn’t you wait till morning?”
“I just want to get up there and get this wedding thing over with. And they will live happily ever after!”
“They are happy Stephanie. I would like to think we could be that happy some day.”
I just take a deep breathe and hope he doesn’t go any farther with this happy ever after stuff.
“I will call you when I get there. It will be late.”
“Yes! Please call me it won’t matter how late, I will be awake. Be careful out there. I love you Steph.”
“I know. The roads so far are good and not a lot of traffic. I will get behind a big truck and let him clear the way for me. Don’t worry mom does that enough for everyone. Bye.”
I close the phone before he has a chance to say anything else. Why couldn’t I just let him get close? Why does it feel that everything would come to a stretching halt and life would not be good anymore if I did let him get closer?
