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My Advice to You

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I personally don’t like to receive advice unless I have asked for it, so I try to be extra careful and not dish out unless asked. However, sometimes you just feel the need to and here are a few of “my advice to you” moments. Take them if you like, or do as I do, ignore!
 
Before getting married:
Please, please, please, please, be sure you want to do this. I cannot stress this enough. Marriage is not for the lighthearted. Be prepared to fight to the death, and then kiss and make-up. You have to kiss and make-up. Please note the have-to part. You can still go to bed angry, but don’t go a week without speaking. Marriage cannot survive without the three C’s: Commitment, Communication and Compromise. Oh, and get all that partying out of your system. No, the party isn’t over, it’s just a more grown up party.
 
Before having kids:
I am hoping you mastered the first part before the thought of having kids crosses your mind. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT have kids to save your marriage. If your marriage is on the rocks, it will crumble. If your marriage is rock solid, beware, it could also crumble. Children are a blessing, believe me. However, it shakes your foundation and can change who you are as a person, and your dynamic as a couple. I won’t even begin what your hormones can do…
 
Before getting a Tattoo:
I am not in any way opposed to getting a tattoo. I have even thought about it a time or two before talking myself out of it. I am not trying to talk anyone out of it. It is an art form and could be quite beautiful. Think of the location before you tat, and think ahead ten years. You don’t want a saggy “this is what it used to be” tattoo. Oh, and no more Chinese characters. Are you sure that’s really what it means?
 
Before yelling at your Mother-in-Law:
You don’t want to do that. First, put yourself in your significant others position. You wouldn’t want them yelling at your mom. Whatever she said, take it with a grain of salt. Don’t let it ruin your marriage. Unless she lives with you, (not recommended) just retreat and take a few days before returning to the scene of the crime. If she lives with you, I would take up a hobby, like going to a shooting range.
 
Before Getting a Divorce:
Hopefully had nothing to do with that Mother-in-law. Are you really sure you want to throw away all the years, unless those years were riddled with abuse and more than one indiscretion. Yes, I said it, more than one indiscretion. Meaning if there was one, you should try to work through it. For the sake of whatever you want to- insert here. Sometimes the reason is just for the sake of staying with the person you fell in love with “x” amount of years ago. Sometimes for the sake of the children. But really, work through it. Divorce shouldn’t be the first option for couples. Couples retreat anyone?
 
Before Getting Bangs:
This is serious Ladies! It changes everything!  I personally, have done this without thinking and then kick my own big ass for doing it! If you have a bad hair day, this is on display- on your face. You can’t hide it, unless you want to look like a six year old and pin them to the side. And if you have to keep blowing them off your face, then I hope you have some gum to go with that breath, just saying.
 
 

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