My Plan to Thwart the Bra Barrage

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It wasn’t uncommon for me to look up from a backyard football game and see my mother and grandmother watching me with worried looks on their faces. As a young girl I was a tomboy. I had girlfriends in the neighborhood but couldn’t pass up a good football game with my brother and his friends. As they watched me tackle the boys I could see them lean over to talk to each other. They were trying to figure out where they went wrong. I was being scrutinized. And they were devising a plan to thwart my tomboy ways.
What they came up with was brilliant, they strapped a bra on me. I couldn’t tackle without the damn thing riding up. I could never keep those bras secure because I didn’t have enough boob to keep them in place. My mother would tell me,
“We just haven’t found you the right fit.”
And off to the mall we would go, grandma, mom and I, in search of the perfect bra for a tomboy with no boobs. Once in the lingerie department the hunt began. Mom and grandma would hold bras up to my chest, consulting each other. Usually a sales clerk would come by to ask if we needed any help. Grandma and mom’s eyes would wander over to my flat chest and the sales clerk’s eyes would follow. She would give them a nod of understanding and make a few suggestions.
When they were satisfied with the sizes, colors and frills and all clutching a couple bras, I would be ushered into the dressing room area. I went in my little room and swished the curtain closed as they all stood outside waiting to see if anything fit. I would try on each bra and every one of them was uncomfortable in its own special way. I would express my complaints and then was inspected to see where they went wrong with their choices. It was intolerable, being felt up by my grandma, mom and salesclerk.
Not being the sharpest knife in the drawer I let this go on throughout middle school and half of my high school years. Finally the light bulb went on above my head. I devised my own plan to thwart the bra barrage. The first bra I tried on, I told them it fit no matter how uncomfortable it was and then I would suffer from morning to night with a bra that by the end of the day ended up around my nipples.
My bra trials and tribulations went on through the years but I kept it to myself. I have remained the same bra size as I had in High School, 36A. I know this doesn’t come as a shocker but you can get that size in the young girls department, most of them have cute little designs but once in a while I can find plain colors and they cost less than the women’s department. I just bought a couple yesterday and boy am I comfortable.


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