There is an extra-special reason to watch the Oscars this year. The show will feature an additional hour of programming in honor of Anna Nicole Smith. This information is straight from my in-the-know sources, and you are the first to read it here.
Anna Nicole Smith is ALIVE!
That’s right. The entire “ANNA DEAD” media circus was a beautifully run PR coup timed to hit right around the Oscars. Anna Nicole is alive, high, and doing very well at an undisclosed morgue in Hollywood, Florida. She is very excited about showing up at the Kodak Theater on the big night and reading her own postmortem tribute.
I hear every hot designer or jeweler in town is clamoring to adorn her for her big moment, and they’re all being snuck in the back door of the morgue. Well, I’m sure her roommates aren’t going to give away the surprise.
We all bask in the subtle, sophisticated contributions that Anna Nicole has made artistically, but I want you to know she is so much more than that. While waiting at the morgue for her big Oscar moment, Anna Nicole continues to be a model parent, expressing her milk for Danni Lynn alone, while the ever-committed Howard flies it by private jet to the Bahamas.
We will soon have Anna Nicole with us again as we celebrate and enjoy her HER BIG TRICK with her. She will continue to be a shining role model for children everywhere, for many years to come.
Signing off, Jay
