Now That Technology Can Make Me Smile, Can It Help Find My Keys?

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I know people say miracles occur every day, and up until now I wasn’t quite sure, but then my daughter sent me this article, and I knew that what I had wanted for so many years had finally come to fruition. Yes, Panasonic has created a digital camera that does not only allow you to take better pictures, but allows you to look better in pictures. The Panasonic Lumix DMC-FP7 has built-in beauty retouch modes, which—listen to this—have the ability to tone down wrinkles, whiten teeth, and give your cheeks a radiant hue. If this camera could fix hair, I would pray to it.

Okay, I am giddy about this, and anyone who has seen photos of me knows why I would love these new features. Even my daughter said, “Mom! Finally we can get a good picture of you without having to take eighty-five shots.”

And that remark is from someone who loves me—most of the time. This to me is a dream come true. No longer will I be afraid to take photos, no more being the only non-photogenic person in the pack, and no more comments like “That picture doesn’t look like you at all—ooh, you don’t photograph well—do you?” Best of all, this camera will save me a fortune down the road, as with this technology, I won’t have to think about hiring stand-ins for me in vacation photos and major events.

As I was pondering my new photographic future, I began to think about other technological advances that would make our lives easier. I was on the phone chatting with my friend, Deb, who told me of her recent car trouble. She was heading to breakfast with co-workers when her car lost, burnt, or ejected a heating coil. I am unfamiliar with what a heating coil does when it breaks (or when it’s not broken for that matter). Anyway, she forgot her cell phone at home and had to use the cell of one of her breakfast buddies to call her husband. The problem with this was she didn’t know his number. He is #3 on her speed dial—that is all she knows. After some phone calls, she was able to track down his work number, but it took a lot of effort.

So, I got to thinking—and this is for all the engineers out there—why can’t we have a magic chip that can be embedded in an index finger? Similar to the chips pets get so that they can be returned home if lost, the finger chip can activate your personal speed dial on anyone’s cell phone. Think about it. You leave your phone in your jeans pocket and it gets washed and destroyed in the process, all because your stupid family was yelling and distracting you while you were doing laundry because they can’t do anything themselves … I’m sorry I got off track. Anyway, I bet it wouldn’t hurt to get the chip implanted—it might hurt a little more than a pin prick, but far less than getting a tattoo. I think the phone chip might be met with some initial resistance from the more paranoid among us (who will like to claim it is another tool for the government to watch our every move), but I think overall, most people might embrace this idea in time.

While we are on inventions that make life easier, I want a key finder. They probably have this already in the fifty-five and over communities, but I don’t want to wait that long. I need one now. It would look like a home alarm device. I would press a button when I need to locate my keys, and the beeping sound would lead me to them. Also, I would like this device to find my sunglasses and my cell phone. Each item would emit a different tone, so I would know what I had located. I think this device would help me get out of the house a lot faster.

My last technology breakthrough isn’t really an invention as much as it is an improvement on an invention. I just bought this Glade air freshener that has a motion detection device that shoots out fragrance when it senses a shadow. This is my problem with the fragrance zapper: My dogs set it off all the time. I think it should be re-made so that it goes off only when it senses offensive odors. Okay, there could be a downside in that it might insult guests in your home if it doesn’t like the scent they give off, but do you really want smelly people in your house? It might be a subtle way to inform people about a body odor issue without an awkward moment. 

Ideas for inventions flit in and out of my brain a lot. I guess it is a good idea that I don’t possess the technical knowledge to make them a reality. Yes, the world is probably a lot better off. 


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