It never occurred to me that underwear would ever become “outerwear” until my husband shared his park experiences with me. After returning to work from maternity leave, my husband who is the primary care giver and stay at home dad, answered our standard how was your day question in a completely unexpected way…”well I saw a woman’s underwear today.” Really. OK. “She was bending over to pick up her kid and had a thong on and it was, just, like, right there and I was staring.”
All I could think was my adorable husband is at the park with our child, probably not talking to anyone because that would feel weird, not like all the mommies who don’t know each other but will discuss the most intimate things about their life at the drop of a hat to speak to an adult, any adult…There is my husband staring at a woman’s ass, thong and all. Things can’t be going well from here. Hmmm.
By the next week when the topic has come up again, but accompanied by the question of, “Am I supposed to see this stuff? Are they doing this on purpose? They seem like intelligent, well kept women. Why are they letting their underwear hang out?” Good lord, I don’t know. I don’t even wear thongs. I have a full coverage point of view. Since I have been picking my underwear out of crack for years, I can’t seem to buy off on paying more money for underwear that goes there on purpose.
So after many years of marriage that includes pointing out the odd outfit, the sexed up grandma, the oh my god everything’s to each other, here we are discussing thongs at the park.
My husband is now a thong expert. Not only in the different styles, lace, shear, cotton, prints, beaded…really beaded, etc. but he actually now has informed me that thongs are outerwear and that yes they do know they show and yes they do put them on their hips above their pants on PURPOSE. Really.
I have to admit I was under the illusion that we’d skip the mistakes of the 70’s like spandex and men in really tight pants but that didn’t happen, so why am I in such disbelief over thongs being shown on purpose. Heck they cost enough. Per square inch of material they have to be the most expensive clothing item in your house. Why shouldn’t everyone see them? So run free thong wearing women and don’t forget your butt squeezes when you bend over to pick up your kids.
