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Sh*t Hipster Dogs Might Say

  • American Apparel

    “The exposed cleavage is ironic—because I’m a dog.”

  • American Apparel

    “I don’t think that chew bone was organic.”

  • American Apparel

    “If you don’t cut my nails, I will never complete my novel. Do you know how hard my vintage Remington typewriter is to use with talons like these?”

  • American Apparel

    “They said there would be dubstep.”

  • American Apparel

    “I’ve had twelve PBRs.”

  • American Apparel

    “I’m post-modernly hungry.”

  • American Apparel

    “I’d love to repurpose that fixie basket into my toilet-bed.”

  • American Apparel

    “I hope you’re using a Polaroid.”

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