Vend Me Over: Bizarre Vending Machines

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For most Americans, vending machines are a convenient way to get their afternoon soda fix or to cure the munchies with a bag of Flaming Hot Cheetos. In other countries, vending machines are host to the bizarre, the wacky, and sometimes, the perverted. We’ve come a long way from soda. Check out these not-so-ordinary vending machines from around the world.

Dirty Drawers
The Japanese have a love affair with vending machines. From beer to cigarettes, to rice and ramen, probably the weirdest (and the nastiest) machines are those that sell dirty schoolgirl panties. Soiled underwear from pre-pubescent girls … I guess there’s a niche for every perv.  

Don’t Forget the Lube
In London, bars, night clubs, hair salons, and health clubs have started to sell sex toys from vending machines, including your run of the mill vibrators and, you know, your everyday anal beads and cock rings. Those crazy Brits and their anal beads.

Lobster Lovin’
Another crazy Japanese idea—a lobster vending machine. Yes, lobster—live lobster, in fact. Crawling, squirmy, and undeniably delicious lobster. The catch? It’s one of those grabby hand vending machine games you used to play as a kid. What I want to know is where do you put the live lobster after you win? Are there buckets with water available for carrying? How often do you change the lobsters and who’s in charge of the lobster machine? I’d like to know so I can get my catch on.


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420 24/7
A walk down any San Francisco street and the heady smell of freshly rolled joints and pot smoke is easily recognized. Maybe that’s because in California, medical marijuana is legal and there are a ton of hidden (and not so hidden) pot shops where those with medical marijuana prescriptions can purchase their ganja of choice. These plain-looking vending machines are housed in rooms outside the shops, making it easy for potheads to access their herb 24/7, granted they have a proper prescription. Talk about reefer madness.


Crazy for Kosher
Oy vey! Can’t find a nosh to keep you kosher on the go? Here’s your solution—a kosher vending machine. Maybe Americans are starting to take a hint from the Japanese, though maybe we’re not quite as extreme yet as their soiled panties. At least you can get your fill of hot nosh, all day, every day.

Vending machines have definitely evolved since the early days of Snickers and Diet Coke. Though you can still get your Frito’s fix at most vending machines, be sure to also keep an eye out for that vibrating cock ring you’ve been coveting.


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