What Your Favorite Childhood Board Game Says About You
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You have outstanding hand-eye coordination and you know how to wield tweezers, which means you’re likely well groomed most of the time, but you’ve got a very poor grasp of human anatomy. Loaves of bread, pencils, miniature horses, and buckets of water are typically found on farms, in (some) stores, and at state fairs, but not inside of human bodies.
You’re very observant and you get a rush out of figuring things out before the next gal, which you do often because as we said, you’re very observant. However, you might want to lay off finishing your friends’ sentences in fits of glee, especially when the words that you want to spew forth are “Mr. Green in the conservatory with the candlestick!” That’s almost never the right ending.
“What’s that you say? I totally ruined your chances at winning this game, having a good day, and living a happy, productive life? Sorry!” Anyone who claims this was their favorite childhood board game is a sociopath, sorry.
Most of your money goes to dental work.
You’re probably somehow mixed up in the Occupy Wall Street movement, either as one of the bankers who’s coming under fire for employing a Gordon Gekko-esque “greed is good” business philosophy, or you’re one of the protesters camped out in the park, chanting and eating dried fruit. Either way, you’re not likely reading this slideshow.
For you, childhood was something to be endured. While everyone else was watching Smurfs and dressing like princesses, you were thinking about bigger things, like how you were going to get a home mortgage, where to buy insurance, and what qualities your future husband/wife would have. Now that you’re an adult, you long for the childhood that you denied yourself by buying many large, exotic animals, much like Michael Jackson.
Chutes and Ladders
You’ve mastered the art of counting and you know that good things come to those who get lucky when they role their dice. You also know that pulling a little girl’s hair is taboo and that fishing on private property might get you in trouble; your moral compass is a little spotty.
Hungry Hungry Hippos
Either you had extremely noise-tolerant parents that were somehow not bothered by the high decibel of this raucous game, or you simply didn’t have parents. Either way you are self-sufficient and expressive as an adult (much like how we imagine Kate Hudson), and very conscientious when it comes to feeding your pets (also like how we imagine Kate Hudson). In other news, you are Kate Hudson.
You work as a career counselor who specialized in trust-building workshops in which everybody holds hands and entwines their bodies and then tries to unravel without letting go. If you don’t do this, then you should consider a career change because you’d be really good at it.
If this was your favorite game as a kid then you’re really smart and pretty. You have a very impressive vocabulary, a great fashion sense, and you have a way with animals. You have many suitors and when you sweat, it smells like roses. Congratulations, you win at life.