What Your Favorite Christmas Movie Says About You
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How the Grinch Stole Christmas
Let’s just put it this way, you are much more Mary-Kate than Ashley. You are a bohemian at your core, and you’ve got an appreciation for all things that break with convention. You’ve also got a pretty serious silly streak and your apartment likely has many throw pillows. Deep down you believe you can heal any poor soul born with a heart two sizes too small with kindness, which is fine since you’re likely working in the humanities or arts and not medical science.
It’s a Wonderful Life
No two ways about it: you’re a softy with a tendency to dive head-first into bouts of nostalgia and gloppy sentimentalism. It’s okay, we are too. As far as we’re concerned, only a heart-deficient tin man would be unfazed by this classic reminder to practice an attitude of gratitude.
You believe in the power of booby traps to conquer evil, you think the movie My Girl is underrated, and the words to the “rap” segment of Michael Jackson’s “Black or White”—lip synched in the video by Our Fair Macaulay— are forever etched on your heart. Rumor has it that after eight years of dating Mila Kunis, The Mac is finally single again. Game on, ladies!
You—like many of us—are susceptible to the “smarter, funnier, all-around better” spell cast by the English accent. To your ears, those who speak with British lilt are more articulate, better looking, and generally more compelling and worthy of attention. By extension, a mediocre movie such as Love Actually is elevated to masterpiece status by virtue of including just about every British actor that exists. It’s okay; we think everything Hugh Grant and Colin Firth say is charming, too.
Congratulations, you’re the Scrooge of your friend group. Rather than putting you in the holiday spirit, the seasonal onslaught of reindeer-themed music and glossy sentimentalism triggers your gag reflex and serves as fodder for your stockpile of sarcastic remarks. However, when no one’s looking you’ve been known to indulge in a delicious peppermint mocha from Starbucks—in the pretty red cup, please.
You’re a kid at heart and an idealist who believes that magic is everywhere if you know how to spot it. You also might be one of the people who mistakenly wears tights as pants, much like Buddy the elf. If so, please stop. That’s not idealism, that’s just you forgetting to put pants on before leaving the house.
National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
You are tragically disaster-prone; if you haven’t spilled coffee on yourself yet today or gotten toilet paper stuck to your shoe, it’s by the sheer grace of god. The trials and tribulations of Clark Griswold—the well-meaning father who can’t catch a break—ring true for you, as does the hearty dose of familial dysfunction.
You’re a traditionalist for whom the word “classic” still holds some meaning; you enjoy a good figgy-pudding song and a well-placed snow globe, and you aspire to one day actually roast chestnuts on an open fire. Needless to say, the teen years were awkward for you.
Nightmare Before Christmas
You’re cooler than everyone else. Pat yourself on the back.
A Christmas Story
If this is your favorite Christmas movie, it means you have lost touch with your inner self, which is begging you to watch something else every time the network rolls out the twenty-four-hour marathons. Big Brother has won.