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Why Are We Still Talking About Jen and Brad’s Divorce?

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As I clicked through the Yahoo! front page recently, I stumbled on an US Magazine story titled “How Jen Got Over Brad.” For a moment I thought I’d traveled back in time. Time travel has been a lifelong fantasy of mine, so while I had hoped my first stop would have been a speakeasy in the 1920s, I was excited that I was at least getting a tad closer—as in 2005. As in the only year it was still acceptable for Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt’s divorce to make headlines.

Unfortunately I am no closer to doing the Charleston with F. Scott Fitzgerald while wearing a fascinator. Sadly I’m still in 2011 and, even more sadly, I’m still reading about the odyssey that is Jen’s split from Brad.

I’m ashamed to say that I clicked on the article, so I know I’m just fueling the media fire. As the story states, Jen’s role in the 2006 comedy The Break-Up helped her move on from her divorce, a tidbit she divulged during her recent stint on Inside the Actor’s Studio.

I was just as devastated as the rest of our pop culture–crazed society was when America’s favorite “friend” and the hunky movie star parted ways. But, seriously, it’s time to move on. It’s true that they were Hollywood’s Golden Couple. But the all-too-frequent relationship postmortems seem desperate. I’m talking Facebook-stalking-your-ex-boyfriend’s-wife-desperate; I’m talking drunk-dialing-your-ex-of-six-years-ago-after-too-many-wine-spritzers-to-get-closure … again-desperate. It’s time to retire this story and let us all, Jen included, move on.

If Jen found relationship catharsis way back in 2006, why are we still belaboring the split? But perhaps there is a glimmer of hope here. Maybe this story is the closure we’ve been searching for. Maybe this marks an end to the saga. Or maybe it’s more likely that I’ll make it to the Jazz Age to sip absinthe with literary greats.

It’s not like there isn’t a plethora of broken hearts in Hollywood to discuss these days. Why don’t we turn our attention to star who have split more recently? George Clooney, Pippa Middleton, Hugh Hefner, Scarlett Johansson, and Sean Penn—to name a few—have all gone back on the market just in the past couple weeks. Imagine how many broken hearts there have been since 2005!

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