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If the Shoe Fits

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My feet are now shaped just like the heels I wore in high school. In the sixties they were pointed at the toe as opposed to rounded like in the forties. My toes look like they were stuffed into a baker’s-cone-paper-squeeze-out-the-decoration thingy and then left to gel. My second toe is a half inch-longer than my big toe so I have never in my life worn shoes with the toes out. And lets be honest, fuck-me pumps have to have that along with sling-backs or they’re not authentic screw-me pumps. Every time I’ve tried on those fabled Marilyn Monroe/Shelley Winters heels, the hole at the toe looked like some weird little armadillo penis was sticking out the end. Just gross no I can’t do it ever, ever, ever!!


Yet, every woman in Texas has red toenails and wears thongs, sandals, open-toed shoes, and flip flops with every imaginable adornment on them. As if that takes away from the fact that feet and toes are ugly and there’s no getting around it. Is it just me? Well, it seems it is because KK told me the other day that Texas women don’t care if their feet are ugly so why should I?


I had never thought of it that way before. I began to look at everybody’s feet. I began staring at any feet that were in sandals or thongs; at the grocery store, the pool and even at the Our Lady of Monolo midnight mass at the east side “Thank you Jesus for kid leather Catholic Church.” It’s true!! Nobody cares!! What a revelation. It’s just me!!!!


I wore a pair of KK’s thong sandals the other day. I felt free. I felt like I had made a major change in my life. No one looked at my feet. Nobody even flinched. I had my fifty-eighth birthday on June second and I’m a new woman! Yeehaw!!!!

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