You look hot and you know it. New shoes, new makeup, new dress. Mani and pedi with hot wax treatment. You spend the extra twenty minutes to look just right. You walk out to living room and he says:
“We’re late, are you finally ready?”
Isn’t this the same man who told you how beautiful you are every time you went anywhere, even to Home Depot? Do you miss his compliments? Do you miss how he used to look at you?
It is not unusual for your man to fall into a flow of day to day life where your appearance is not the most important thing to him. Try not to assume anything or read anything into his misstep.
Instead, take some action and get yourself noticed! One of my client’s mantras is “Why is it always up to the women?” I know, I know, but think of it this way. He doesn’t know how much this is bothering you so you need to let him know. When you can start to get compliments from other people and enjoy them, the pressure is off of him to be your sole provider!
Meanwhile, here are three action steps that will get you into the flow of compliments that are already all around you:
1. Ask for compliments. This is a radical idea, not for the faint of spiritual heart. Start your day asking the Universe, the Divine, or whatever you call your higher power to send you people who will compliment you. It is crazy how this works. You ask and then just watch what happens as you go about your business. Try it. Getting compliments always feels terrific and they don’t have to just come from your man!
2. Compliment yourself. This may sound a little loony to you, don’t blame you for that, but it really works. How can we expect compliments from our men when we don’t even appreciate our own looks? Tell yourself how hot you look and do it out loud. Amazing how a week of this will feed your need to feel great about yourself!
3. Compliment random strangers. Think how great it feels when someone notices your new haircut or shoes. Plan on complimenting three strangers a day on something you admire. Watch their reaction; see if you catch any delight or self-consciousness.
Think of giving compliments as planting seeds. The more you plant, the more luscious fruit you will reap. After one week of your new complimenting habit, re-evaluate exactly how you want your man to respond to your fashion choices and how you look. Then tell him kindly and directly how his words make you feel. If you don’t need all your complimenting from him, he just may surprise you!