Every year I dread Christmas, yes I dread it. Once upon a time I really enjoyed it. Maybe it was because I still believed in Santa Claus and that made it so very magical. Then you grow up and become an adult. The season seems to bring on more heartache than joy. The bill collectors hound you, the threatening letters flood your mailbox, money problems, and the stress of getting presents. It makes me miss my childhood all the more.
Now here I sit in my late twenties awaiting the birth of my first child. With no husband or boyfriend to help out. Though the baby is expected to come around January tenth my gut feeling tells me that he will be coming around Christmas. Thankfully I always do my Christmas shopping around the beginning of November. However this year has been a hectic one. In the past I would always get the nicest presents I could find. However this year has been different. I had to quit my job around the beginning of November due to the stress and my pregnancy. So I found myself having to find a way to get Christmas presents at a low cost. With only $40 in my bank account, three people to shop for (and that doesn’t include the baby). My last paycheck didn’t arrive until the middle of November and when a few bills needed paid ASAP I found myself with no choice but to spend it on the bills.
So there I was around the beginning of December having to fight my way through the crowds of people. Desperately looking for six gifts since my tradition has always been to get the ones I love two gifts a piece. Then comes the tough part. What on earth do I get them? You must be careful especially with my family. They have this bad habit of buying themselves gifts around Christmas and may have bought themselves the very gifts you are looking at. So I have to clear my head and try to think of what they need. For my brother and step-dad the first gifts are easy. My step-dad is in need of socks and my brother needs new work gloves. However my mother is a different story. Her main wish is for a washer and dryer but no one can afford it. She has already bought herself new underwear and socks. So I must wrack my brains and think of her likes and dislikes. Since she is a music lover like myself I dig through her CDs and try to find a group that she loves but doesn’t have. I settle on a Journey CD.
Then comes the second set of gifts which is even harder. I must think of everyone’s likes and dislikes. My mind has gotten a little bad since getting pregnant and that makes it challenging. Luckily for my step-dad I choose a DVD movie he has been wanting to see but hasn’t got the chance. For my brother it’s more challenging. Luckily I overhear him talking about a CD he really wants and can’t afford. I do a lot of searching but make the discovery that no stores carry that CD. I must then surf the web. However I am now out of money thanks to more bills coming in. Luckily my love for writing comes in handy and through a site that I write for I am given a $25 gift certificate to use on Amazon.com No words can describe my happiness as I have just discovered that Amazon has that CD so I immediately order it.
Now it is on to my mother who I must find one last present for. I finally decide on a small designer purse which I pray she likes. She usually carries big purses and always complains of them being too bulky. So my list is complete. The bills however are still coming in and giving me a headache. The false labor pains have been coming on and off. I find my gut feeling getting stronger and stronger. Oh what a Christmas it will be. The manic search for a tree that has been left to the last minute, the bills that need to be paid and the baby that may be arriving on Christmas Day. One thing I have learned about Christmas is that it is always hectic.