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Just Around the Corner...

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Ahhh the mall! The house of worship for a congregation of teenage parishioners. They hang out, loiter, and dress in ways that should be “fine-able”. Do their parents know they are there? Do they care? They are not the only issue I have with malls. Is it just me or does it seem like when you walk into a mall, the air changes? I immediately feel as though there is an invisible fog of bacteria and viruses floating all around me. I’m not a germaphobe, but perhaps I’m a bit paranoid. How can there possibly be THAT many people inside one area and it still be healthy? It is the very last place I choose to be unless dragged there at gunpoint. I truly avoid it at all costs.

I hate taking my kids there because they inevitably want to play in that bacteria-ridden, children’s cesspool near the food court. A bit extreme maybe, but surely you’ve seen the kids that are playing in there. Forget about the coughing, runny noses, and sneezing that are rampant in that area. Let’s talk about how the kids literally run amok like migrating wildebeest through the Serengeti trampling everything in their path. Hello?! There are little children in here! It’s as though parents think as long as they pass the shoe cubbies and they’re within the play area they no longer have to parent their kids. I don’t think so.

Needless to say, my husband and I view that area as a “hot zone” which by CDC standards is the area in which airborne infectious diseases reside. My kids are welcome to go play in there once hazmat gear is provided. Until then, we’ll stick to parks and rec.

I don’t dislike everything about the mall. The food court for example is a “foodie’s” dream. Who in this world wouldn’t like to sink their teeth into a gooey, rich, cinnamonny, delectable Cinnabon?! Oh Sweet Moses! I’d love to just buy a gallon of the frosting and slather it all over me from time to time. It’s THAT yummy! Or what about movie popcorn?! Yes, that’s right, the 12,000 calorie salted, buttery delight. I’ll admit, I love it. And I shovel it in my mouth like I haven’t eaten in a year! And I’m okay with that. Food court and movie popcorn aside, I’m not much of a mall fan. Having said all of that, I have to say, life just wouldn’t be the same without them. So, I’ll brave the diseased air, and the loitering teens, and the crazed kids so I can have the luxury of knowing that if I ever need something from the mall … it’s right there … just around the corner.
 

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