Seven Backhanded Presents You Shouldn’t Give
"Cooking for Dummies"
Just because someone may not know a balloon whisk from a balloon animal, doesn’t mean he deserves finding Cooking for Dummies under the Christmas tree. It’s one thing to gift the chef in your family a gourmet cookbook, but for someone who reaches for the takeout menus more often than the stove, this book will only gather dust.
If you give someone a subscription to a dating website, you might as well be handing them a card reading, “Season’s Greetings! In case you didn’t remember, you’re single during the holidays!”
Weight Loss Accessories
No matter how much someone might want or need to tone up, there is no way to give fitness gifts without at least potentially reinforcing someone’s insecurities. Even if a person whines about how their batwings wave back when they wave goodbye, gifting gym accessories probably will produce more pain than gain.
It doesn’t matter if The Secret led you to a personal path of discovery. If you give someone a self-help book, it’s going to scream, “Get your shit together.”
Certificate to a Tanning Salon
It’s winter and people are at their palest, but urging someone to ditch their Ghost-of-Christmas Past-look for a more Jersey Shore cast-esque hue will not win you points. It’s December and our skin has been hiding under layers upon layers of down material. Give us a break!
What better way to tell someone that their vocabulary is comparable to that of a five-year-old than to give them a giant list of every word ever created? Let’s get real—nobody is going to snuggle up with hot cocoa and a copy of Merriam-Webster. You’d be better off just telling the person point blank that you think they could stand to brush up on their three-syllable-plus words.