Since we are smack dab in the middle of the “terrible twos” at my house, I thought I’d share twenty-five skills every toddler should know (but their parents wish they didn’t).
1. Run away from their parents in public. (Bonus points if in a busy parking lot.)
3. Squirm their way out of a buckled car seat or stroller.
4. Do the car seat arch the back maneuver.
5. Break into “child-proofed” cabinets.
6. Color on floors, walls, and older siblings’ Barbies.
7. Scream like a banshee. (Bonus points if in public!)
8. Loudly announce “I go pee pee” or “I go poo poo” in church.
9. Locate the nearest pile of dog poo. (Bonus points if steaming fresh!)
10. Locate the buried tampon in mommy’s purse. (Bonus points if in public.)
11. Request to go potty at the grocery store when at the furthest point from the restroom.
12. Tear all the flaps out of lift-the-flap books.
13. Loudly proclaim, “I DO IT!”
14. Become well versed in “NO.”
15. Carry on imaginary phone conversations with the zeal of a televangelist.
16. Turn an ordinary couch into a trampoline.
17. Poop five seconds before heading out the door.
18. Become sick when their parents plan a date night.
19. Use all the toilet paper in one sitting.
20. Find the remote.
21. Lose the remote.
22. Put the fear of God into the family pets.
23. Wash a doll’s hair in the toilet.
24. Blow kisses with wild abandon.
25. Look adorable at just the right moment.
So, what are some of your “twoisms?”
Photo courtesy of Jamie Reeves